Secrets Volume 10
by Jeanie Cesarini, Bonnie Hamre, Dominique Sinclair, and Kathryn Ann Dubois; romantic erotica (2004)
Red Sage Publishing, $12.99, ISBN 0-9754516-0-X

There seems to be many thirteen-year old girls out there wanting to be a grown-up author and sometimes they actually get published. That's the impression I get from reading Secrets Volume 10.

Dominique Sinclair's Private Eyes has some nice love scenes - thank you - but the heroine Niccola Black is a mess of inconsistencies. A PI with a cynical outlook when it comes to romance (catching adulterous husbands in the act on a daily basis can do that to one) but she is seduced nonetheless by the stranger she meets on the job. Attraction, that I can believe, but Niccola's subsequent acting like a hormonal bunny in heat, no. The fact that she is in danger once she starts doing the bop makes this story an unintentional morality tale about giving out too easily to people you barely know.

Bonnie Hamre's The Ruination Of Lady Jane has an imbecile heroine running away because she doesn't want to marry an old man and, upon meeting the man ordered to bring her back, begs the man to ruin her so that she will be saved from a fate worse than death. I can think of so many better alternatives to appropriately-named imbecile Lady Jane Ponsonby-Maitland's nonsense, like marrying the old coot and then cheating on him with some young stud whose services are paid for by hubby's money. But that will be unvirtuous, so let it be that the Pornbarbie-Muckbrain woman instead begs some stranger to shag her instead. By the way, the hero's name is Havyn Attercliffe. I'm sure after a week with Pornbarbie-Muckbrain, he'll be Heavin Offthecliff.

Jeanie Cesarini's Code Name Kiss is like some tasteless porn movie spoofing some US actions in the latest country most fashionable to be bombed. Our heroine Lily Justiss decides to infiltrate some evil terrorist cell (who are also naturally sex fiends and all that) by becoming a sex slave. There goes her virginity! She falls in love with her commanding officer Seth (she views her losing her virginity to some terrorist scum as a trial run to her big moment with Seth), who is fortunately American, and... oh my head. I am not offended by this story, just stunned that the author really have the guts to write this story in a time like this, but I have a feeling that anybody who views the current world situation seriously may easily be offended. What's next? A man and a woman, caught in a crumbling tower after several terrorist planes crashed into it, having wild before-we-die-OH-MY-OH sex just to give the reader some cheap thrills, and as for plot in case Harlequin buys the story, maybe we can have a secret baby aftermath?

Kathryn Ann Dubois' The Sacrifice has Anastasia Bedovier wanting the Lord of Pleasures to teach her sexual intimacy before she becomes a nun. Bend over, Bedovier! After she's all bent from the pleasures, she runs off to say her Hail Mary Hallelujahs. It's a good thing she doesn't get any STDs because it will be hard to blame the bed bugs for the rashes in her groin. Ian, besotted because there's nothing like shagging an ignorant virgin to introduce a hedonist to love, will look for her until he finds her. They then do disgusting things on the pulpit. The altar boys should wash the place and the objects around the place before the next service. And I made the last two sentences up just to make this unimaginative "virgin gives best sex because innocence is the best" tutor-student sex fantasy more interesting than it really is.

Hmmph, I really think that those little girls should leave the sexy writing to grown-ups the next time around.

Rating: 55

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