Dear Colin, I received your email and I'm pleased that you and Christie are happy with my present for the upcoming baby shower. I have the impression that you will read the book, but thanks nonetheless for that charming photo of you wearing only Defeating Mandel: How To Make Tall Babies around your privates.

The Race started without a hitch at first, although I was disgusted that I was made to sleep on a bug-infested bed outside a Ecuadorian restaurant called Pim's. On the bright side, I met Oswald who was so cute. I think he liked me because I heard him calling out in his sleep that night outside Pim's, "No, Mirna, stay away from me!" That poor man. Clearly I'm a challenge to his homosexuality. I must be considerate and give the poor man a break. After all, there are many hot men who love me for me in Ecuador! I met this man, Juan, who clearly desired me as well because he spent the whole time at the back of our vehicle with his hands trembling as he gripped the seat hard.

Ah, Juan is such a terrible person! He led me and Charla to the wrong gate at that Cotopaxi National Park! Clearly our perfect Spanish was too much for him because he couldn't understand a word of our constant "Take-o to da northern-o gate-o!" We ended up driving for hours and hours and Charla was crying, but of course I managed to calm her down with my amazing skills at diplomacy and persuasion. We ended up doing good thanks to my level-headed ways and excellent sense of direction, and we came in at eighth place. The Robcouple came in first. I'm sure they cheated.

That's it from me, Colin. It was a terrible start of the Race because we got lost and it was due to me that we managed to extricate ourselves from this mess. I'm glad you're at home taking care of pregnant Christie. She'd appreciate a more mellow man just as you'll appreciate only watching as I bungee-jump and do all those dangerous things that you have clearly outgrown on your TV. Do you still play Hinder's Lips Of An Angel on your iPod as you go to sleep every night and dream of me? Sincerely, Mirna.

As the camera zooms in on a volcano, Philo Koughie points out that we are looking at Volcán Cotopaxi, an "active volcano" on the "outskirts of Quito, Ecuador". He steps out onto the camera and points out that the Mirador Cotopaxi at the base of the volcano was the Pit Stop of the previous leg and therefore the starting line for this leg of the Race.

But first, an interlude on the events that took place at Pit Stop. Drew who was in pretty bad shape received medical treatment for "altitude sickness". He explains to the camera that he was vomiting and all and they gave him oxygen for about four times during the rest period at the Pit Stop. Does this mean he'll be less battered in this leg of the Race? I hope so, but I'm hoping even more that the Frat Bastards will get eliminated so that poor Drew can take a nice long recuperative rest and receive all the medical attention he needs. I say this out of love, of course. It pains me to see my darling bald coots from season one suffering like this.

7:42 am. Because they came in first in the previous leg, the Robcouple get to leave first in this leg. They learn that they must fly to Santiago, the capital of Chile as well as the largest city in the country, in a journey of about 2,400 miles according to Philo. In Santiago, Teams must take a cab and travel about 12 miles to the corporate headquarters of CODELCO. Philo points out that CODELCO is the world's largest copper mining company. A bit of trivia to impress guests at parties: CODELCO actually stands for Corporación Nacional del Cobre de Chile and copper is one of Chile's primary exports. As the Robcouple get into their vehicle for their drive back to Quito, the Robcouple tells the camera that the other Teams have no idea what they are capable of. Oh, I believe they know. He adds that he doesn't care if the other Teams are afraid or them, he just wants them so distracted by the Robcouple that they lose sight of what they are supposed to do. They drive down this very bumpy dirt road with many potholes and mounds. Ambore exclaims that a road of such condition should be "illegal".

7:53 am. The Cha-Cha-Chas count their money and it turns out that every Team is given $487 for this leg of the Race. That's a ridiculous amount of money. What are they going to use the money for? As the Cha-Cha-Chas take off in their vehicle, they tell the camera that their goal is to stay focused on the Race and hopefully make it to the finish line first. Danny jokes to Oswald that perhaps they should pull over and wait for the other Teams. Oswald says that he likes "them" but not too much. Gee, who could they be making fun of, hmm? Heh, heh, heh.

8:17 am. The Tokens get to leave. Ian tells the camera that the Tokens this time around plan to "stop, look, and listen" when it comes to the Race. Ian once again plays to the camera by going in a sing-song manner about how they will have a "marvelous time" as the Tokens walk down the hill slope to their vehicle. I think he and the Guidos are in a competition to see who gets the most group hugs at some fan convention at the end of the season.

8:24 am. The DanEs are off. As they are about to rip open the clue, Eric tells Danielle, "Don't roll down the hill like Humpty." Danielle smiles vacantly and nods while going, "Humpty?" Eric clues her in as to what he means by saying, "Off the wall?" He then adds, "We can call you Humpty Dumbass." I hate to imagine that they spent time rehearsing for this "comedic" scene because it's pretty lame and also because Eric is confusing Humpty Dumpty with Jack and Jill. Besides, making fun of a girlfriend's ignorance on TV is never a cool thing. Eric gives a lame babble to the camera about pressures in a relationship while Racing and I find myself thinking, "Wait a minute, these two are supposed to be in a relationship?" They sure don't act like they are.

8:25 am. The Guidos, wearing what seems like green turbans, depart. As they leave in their vehicle, once again they remind everyone that they are gay with Joe going, "Who says gay men can't drive?" This is only the second episode and already I am dreading the things they will come up with next. Yes, they're gay and they think they are old. Enough with the bizarre self-depreciating thing. I want the evil Guidos back! Bill tells Joe, "Good job!" I don't know what for - maybe because Joe manages to drive for five seconds without crashing. Bill adds, "It's a gay four-wheeling." Do you know that they are gay?

8:34 am. The Christinas leave, saying aloud how cool that they are going to Chile. Call it a hunch, but I don't think they are really feeling that "cool". Who, when told that they're going to Chile, gets excited? Give me a break. 8:35 am. The IVFs leave. They catch up with the Christinas who tell the camera that they are not happy when the IVFs catch up with them. I know, a Team only a minute behind the Christinas catching up with those ladies - what an impossible notion! The Christinas on the road remind each other that they need to be very careful and take all the correct turns this time around. Meanwhile, the IVFs tell the camera that they learned a lot of "life lessons" about each other and Uchenna adds that he has learned that he needs to be Mr Right in order to have a Mrs Right. No, I don't know what he's talking about either. He adds that he learns that he has to trust that Joyce "can carry her weight and vice-versa". I still have no idea what he is talking about but I'd love to see the "vice-versa" of Joyce's weight carrying her on this Race. I suspect the IVFs are hoping to jumpstart a motivational speaker career after this Race with their babbling.

8:50 am. The FoGs leave with Charla wondering aloud whether it'll be "chilly in Chile" as they run along the path to their vehicle. I'm going to hell for saying this but I can watch Charla run all day and still laugh and laugh. 8:51 am. The Coala Bears read their clue and leave. Both Teams bump into each other as they put their bags inside their respective vehicles. It turns out that the FoGs will follow the Coala Bears all the way to the airport. Mary tells the camera that she thought at first she wouldn't like the FoGs but from the moment the two Teams meet on the Race, she loves them. Ah yes, I'll see how long she holds on to that sentiment. Meanwhile, the FoGs encounter a problem when the wheel of their vehicle becomes stuck in a muddy ditch. Charla rubs her forehead - I think she hits her head hard when the vehicle gets stuck - while Mirna gets out of the vehicle, saying, "I don't think the car liked all that!" Gee, what does the car like then, I wonder? The Coala Bears don't have to but they stop to help the FoGs anyway. The Coala Bears tow the FoGs' vehicle out and the FoGs can get going again. As the two Teams continue on their way, Mirna calls out to the Coala Bears, saying that the FoGs "owe" them. Mirna also tells the camera as she drives that the Coala Bears are sweet and "totally down to earth". She says that the Coala Bears are definitely "the most trustworthy" Team and therefore the FoGs are in an alliance with them. Ah yes, the "you are useful to me so you are a good person" principle. It never fails to bring about unintentional hilarity on this show.

It is 9:44 am when the Frat Bastards leave, which puts them nearly an hour behind the Coala Bears. Don't worry, they are all going to the airport. Drew nearly trips on his way down, but luckily he recovers his balance easily. They take off in their vehicle, where Drew telling Kevin off over some incident not shown on TV where apparently Kevin hit Drew's shoulder too hard. Kevin insists that he'd merely "tapped" Drew's shoulder and Drew shouts back that Kevin "didn't" tap it. Kevin tells the camera that he gets frustrated having to deal with Drew's various health problems but he believes that he doesn't have any option in this situation other than to keep pushing Drew on. Then the Frat Bastards' vehicle gets stuck, probably in the same ditch that the FoGs were stuck in earlier. Kevin ends up wearing the tow strap around his waist and pulling the vehicle even as Drew hits the oil. The vehicle ends up free from the ditch... and then Drew keeps driving, apparently forgotten that Kevin is still outside, tied to the vehicle, even if Kevin is right in front of him. At least, that's what I'd like to believe instead of Drew deliberately wishing to dump Kevin here and drive off to some more nicer place where he can lie down and sleep the day away. Kevin has to run after the vehicle and yell at Drew to stop for some three whole seconds before Drew does just that and says sorry in a voice that suggests how sorry he really isn't.

Ahead, the Robcouple are in the Quito International Airport and they are driving towards the relevant terminal. Meanwhile, the Cha-Cha-Chas prefer to stop at a travel agent in Quito. At the ticket counter in the airport, the Robfather asks for the best and fastest flight and is advised to board a flight from Guayaquil (a city south-west to Quito - it's also the most populous city in Ecuador as well as its main port) to Santiago via Lima. It will arrive at Santiago at 1:50 am. The Cha-Cha-Chas are also receiving the same information from the travel agent. Both Teams get tickets for this flight. The Robfather asks the ticket counter lady to not tell other Teams about this flight and she has this "Are you kidding me?" pinch-faced expression on her face as she merely nods and tells the Robcouple to head over to the domestic flight terminal to catch a flight to Guayaquil. As they purchase their tickets, the Cha-Cha-Chas are also booking a flight from Quito to Guayaquil.

Back at the airport, the DanEs reach a different counter from the one the Robcouple went to and end up on a flight that will arrive at Santiago at 2:30 am. At another counter, the Tokens also end up on this flight. Ian is sure that the two earlier Teams may have found a better flight so the Tokens will continue to do some "research" on flights. Meanwhile, the Robcouple boards that flight to Guayaquil that leaves at 12:45 pm. The Robfather says something to the camera about how this Race is not about other Teams, which is true even if I think sometimes even he forgets that. The Guidos meanwhile in another ticket counter gets on that same flight as the DanEs and the Tokens. They then tease each other about needing a shower. I'm just surprised they didn't say that they need a gay shower with a gay soap and a gay shower brush to go along with their gay bubble bath. The Christinas and the IVFs also end up on that flight. Meanwhile, the Cha-Cha-Chas show up at the domestic terminal and board a 3:00 pm flight to Guayaquil, hoping for the best. And finally, the Frat Bastards show up at the airport, bumping into the FoGs and the Coala Bears who are at the ticket counter purchasing tickets for that same flight that arrives in Santiago at 2:30 am. All three Teams end up on that flight. Mirna tells the counter that she is looking for an "amigo" named "Rob" (heh, heh) and asks the ticket lady whether she can check to see if Mirna's buddy is on that flight with them. Nope, "Rob" isn't on that flight. The FoGs and the Coala Bears are like, "Darn!" The Robfather's plan to get people focused on him clearly isn't working like he expected it to.

At the Guayaquil Airport, the Robcouple explains to the camera that the flight to Lima will not depart for a few hours so they have some time to kill. As they relax at the airport, the Robcouple tell the camera that they are confident about being the first Team to arrive in Santiago and the Robfather adds that clearly the other Teams will be paranoid about where they are. Cut to the FoGs telling the Coala Bears about the mysterious non-appearance of the Robcouple and the Coala Bears asking the Christinas whether the ladies have seen the Robcouple. At least two Teams are gullible enough to embrace the paranoia, I see. Back to the Robcouple, they and the Cha-Cha-Chas soon meet up and both Teams are not too pleased to see each other but hey, it's forced smiles all around. At least, until they learn that their flight to Lima has been delayed. Oswald sighs in a voice-over that their lead over the other Teams is gone.

Over at the Airport, the other Teams are boarding their flight to Santiago. The Coala Bears, with David telling the camera that they have learned this trick in the previous Race about keeping your bags as close to the door as possible, begin stuffing their bags into the first-class compartment. This leads Drew to announce loudly to some nearby air stewardesses that those bags belonging to the Coala Bears don't belong in those compartments. He starts throwing those bags to the floor with his own hands. I understand why one would feel annoyed by the Coala Bears' move - especially if Drew wishes he has thought of it first, heh - but he doesn't have to behave like a jackass like that if you ask me. Why needlessly antagonize other Teams if there is no benefit in doing so? At any rate, David packs those bags up again - clearly the air stewardesses don't care about this issue as much as Drew does. Drew, spotting David doing just that, calls out to David, "Put your shit where your seat is!" To Mary, David says that Drew is playing "dirty", although it seems to me that Drew is thinking that David and Mary are the ones playing dirty, and that it's "on". Well, okay then. The other Teams laugh although I've no idea who they are laughing at and wisely stay out of this pointless fray. Meanwhile at Guayaquil, the Robcouple and the Cha-Cha-Chas decide to press their luck by boarding a flight to Lima and find a flight to Santiago from there.

Later that night at Lima International Airport, the other Teams who boarded the supposedly later flight make their connective flight to Santiago without much problem, although the Guidos tell the camera that they do wonder where the two missing Teams are. He must be hoping that they will pull a Gutsy Granny move. The Robcouple the Cha-Cha-Chas show up at the airport just as the other Teams have taken their seats (and the Guidos having placed cucumber slices over their eyes) and ask the people at the boarding gate whether they can get on that flight as well. Alas, the airport people only do this for the IVFs and only if they are with American Airlines, so no, these two Teams are not getting on that flight. Aw, Oswald is not happy. The Robfather says that it's easy to go from first to last place in a space of ten minutes. Eventually they board a later flight out, the Cha-Cha-Chas moaning in a voice-over that they are the last Teams to arrive. I know! They have said this about ten times in the last two minutes!

Woosh, Santiago! The flight taking the Teams apart from you-who-know lands and the Teams on that flight make their usual dash-for-cab runs. The DanEs and the IVFs are the first two Teams to hit the road in their cabs while back at the airport David is seen carrying Charla's bag for her. How sweet. This alliance can only come to a tragic end, given the high-strung tendency for both Teams to interpret morality in often self-serving ways.

Ahead at the CODELCO building, I'm pleasantly surprised to see that it's opened. I'm expecting an operation hour bunch so I'm really pleased by this turn of events. The DanEs and the IVFs realize that it's now time for a Roadblock. Philo explains that in this Roadblock, a Team member must head for a boardroom on the ground floor. There is a "meeting" going on in the boardroom and what this Team member must do is to peer and poke around at those handsome men hired to play CODELCO executives in this Roadblock to locate alphabets that are scattered around the place. These alphabets can found monogrammed on pens, papers, handkerchiefs, et cetera. Once the alphabets are collected and unscrambled, Teams should realize that most of the alphabets spell out the name of one of the ten copper mines shown on the paintings on the wall of the boardroom. If they give the name of this mine to the "security guard" supervising the Roadblock, they get their next clue. Ooh, I love this Roadblock. It's almost like something out of Treasure Hunters! Because the clue merely asks the Teams who has the eye for detail, Joyce and Eric take this one. Yes, Eric takes this one. Then again, Danielle acts like she doesn't know what she's doing on the Race so I guess I can't expect much from her.

Eric and Joyce enter the boardroom each armed with pen and notepad. Eric immediately notices the alphabets on the sleeves, lighters, and all and starts writing down. Joyce also does the same, wondering how difficult this task can be since she has the eye for detail. Outside, Uchenna tells Danielle that Joyce is some kind of expert when it comes to details. What can go wrong for the IVFs? The Christinas show up next and Dustin takes this one. The Guidos are next and Bill takes this one for the Team. Bill tells the camera that the first thing he notices when he enters that boardroom is a letter on someone's shirt. Not because that guy wearing that shirt is cute or anything, of course, but because Bill is familiar with the concept of letters on shirts. He points out the "Team Guido" on his shirt as an example. That's a subtle way of advertizing one's Team! The Frat Bastards show up next and Kevin takes it for the Team.

Eric and Joyce leave the boardroom to approach the security guard. Seeing Joyce, Uchenna acts like he's in some kind of bet with Danielle as to who will solve the Roadblock first and he thinks he's going to win. He's pretty confident in his wife's ability when it comes to spotting details, I must say. Eric thinks the answer is "aquarium" while Joyce thinks the answer is "planitarium", whatever that is. Both answers are wrong so those two have to try again. As those two and the others start walking around the room again, Dustin realizes that the clue mentioned that there is something in this boardroom that will help them unscramble the alphabets and she notices that there are pictures on the wall. She stops before one picture to compare the name of that mine with the alphabets she has noted on her notepad. Sure enough, she believes she knows the answer and runs to the security guard with it - Chuquicamata. Ding-ding-ding, she's got it! The Clue tells them to fly 230 miles to the city of Calama and locate the mine in question. The mine happens to be the biggest open pit copper mine in the world, by the way. So off go the Christinas to the airport!

Eric stops in front of the picture of Chuquicamata but decides that the answer is something else since he has no H noted down on his notepad. The camera closes in on a H emblazoned on a pen. Meanwhile, the Robcouple and the Cha-Cha-Chas arrive in Santiago and they are off to the CODELCO building, urging their cabs to hurry and all. Back at the CODELCO boardroom, the remaining goonies are starting to sweat. Bill decides to try a different approach. As he explains to the camera, he starts taking note of the names of the copper mines on the wall and realizes that there are "extra" letters that should be discarded. He is the next to come to the answer and the Guidos are the next Team to dash into a cab and rush for the airport. Joyce's second answer is wrong and she returns to the boardroom just as the Tokens show up at the CODELCO building and run in past her. Poor Uchenna voices over that he has no idea what is going on in the boardroom as he and Danielle watch those Teams who came in after them leave one by one before them. Meanwhile, Ian takes the Roadblock for the Tokens since, as Teri tells the camera, he used to be a cop and all. Ian joins Eric, Kevin, and Joyce in the boardroom. Finally, the FoGs and the Coala Bears show up. Charla takes this one because she's going to have fun peering over the table top while Mary takes this one for her and David. Then again, I love the determined way Charla says, "I can do it!" as she accepts the Roadblock. She is fierce, I tell you.

It turns out that the table isn't so high so Charla can see everything as well as the others, thank goodness. As Joyce says out loud that she doesn't know what she is doing, smart Mary begins by writing down all the names of the mines and then starts comparing them with the letters she spots. The Robcouple are here for the Roadblock and Ambore takes this one. The Cha-Cha-Chas round up the party and Oswald is doing it for the Team. Eric is noticably dismayed that he's still here when everyone else is also here, heh, while Mary show Charla some pointers on what to look out for. They spot a Q and realize that only Chuquicamata has a Q in it so that has to be the answer they are looking for.

As Mary goes off to try the answer, Kevin follows her, listens to her tell the answer to the security guard, and when she gets her clue, taps her at the back and tells her, "Good job!" There are two ways to interpret this scene. Either he's genuinely pleased for her or he's taunting her. David says aloud that Kevin eavesdropped. I believe that Kevin has no choice but to eavesdrop, given how loud Mary is. He has the grace to give a wrong answer before he goes back inside the boardroom, where he tells Charla that Mary's answer is correct before he stops in front of the photo of Chuquicamata to write down the word. Uchenna is like "What the hell?" as the FoGs leave with the Coala Bears (who have been waiting for the FoGs). Kevin shows his answer to the security guard and you can clearly see that he has written down what he believes Mary said, only he didn't get the spelling right. Well, he has the spelling right now so he and Drew get to leave on the heels of the Coala Bears and the FoGs.

In the Boardroom, Ambore and Oswald are working together just as Teri and Joyce are working together. Ambore spots an H on a pen and tells Oswald this. Like Mary, she realizes that only Chuquicamata has an H in its name so this has to be the answer. Eric overhears part of those two's whispered discussion as they are in front of the photo. He tells Ambore that there is no H so Ambore points out that there is. He just has to go take a look at that H on the pen before cursing himself, ha ha, as Ambore and Oswald leave the boardroom in a hurry. Because he didn't fully catch the entire conversation, he only knows now that there is a H to be found so he's still looking and thinking. The Cha-Cha-Chas and the Robcouple take off, leaving Uchenna and Danielle even more bewildered and frustrated by whatever that is taking their partners so long. Finally Eric sees the light and leaves the boardroom with the answer. Uchenna now curses under his breath, saying that Joyce has to be "freaking nuts". Oh no, that will affect their holier-than-thou image on TV. Jesus won't approve, surely! So this leaves an angry Uchenna and an unhappy Joyce waiting outside the boardroom. Joyce still doesn't get it. "Sandpit... rockpit" she says aloud to herself. She still doesn't understand that she's looking for a name, not a word.

At the Santiago Airport, the Christinas show up, followed by the Guidos, the Frat Bastards, the FoGs, and the Coala Bears. Finally Joyce believes it may be Chuquicamata and tells Ian to wait so that she'll let him know once she runs it by the security guard. She actually does just that so the two Teams leave together, no doubt glad that their ordeal is over. In the cab, Joyce tries to make light of her bad performance. She won't be smiling if she sees the faces Uchenna is making while she is speaking. Meanwhile, Teri praises Ian for a job well done. Ian protests, saying that he performed poorly. Like the Guidos, these people must be kidnapped by aliens and replaced by pod people some time before the Race.

The Cha-Cha-Chas, the Robcouple, and the DanEs show up at the Santiago Airport as the other Teams who are already there begin booking tickets on the best LAN flight to Calama. The IVFs and the Tokens soon join the party so Joyce and Ian didn't really finish the Roadblock that behind the others, I think. As the Teams stand in line, another ticket counter opens and Eric quickly makes his way to it even if he's not at the head of the queue. The Robfather says, "Bro, we're in line here. Come on!" Eric tells him that the Robfather will do the same if he's in Eric's shoes. I think Eric's right. The Robfather tells the camera that he's notmad, he's just "stirring the pot", which I don't particularly believe since I suspect he's just trying to save face. At any rate, he and Eric continue to measure penis length until Ambore tells her husband, "Don't be upset about it because you would have done the same thing!"

It's hilarious when the Robfather says teasingly to the camera that he doesn't like it when she's defending other people against him and she says back in the same confessional that he can stir the pot all he wants but in this case, "it was so wrong, it made him look silly." Back at the counter, he tells her that she has trust him because he's making it clear how "they" are playing the Race, blah blah blah, and she has this awesome look of bemusement on her face that she doesn't hide from him. She knows he's talking out of his behind and she knows that he knows it, so she's not going to pretend otherwise. This continues in the confessional where the Robfather saus that she's supposed to have his back and she has to know that there is "method behind his madness". She breaks into laughter at this point and he is grinning. These two enjoy playing the villain to the camera so much, they're simultaneously adorable and ridiculous.

At any rate, everyone's on the same flight to Calama so all that drama is for nothing.

On to Calama, where the Frat Bastards and the Guidos leave the airport first but got passed by the Christinas on the road. To add insult to the injury (or injuries in Drew's case), the Christinas have to waggle their tongues at the Frat Bastards, although I don't think those two men can see the Christinas from their cab. The FoGs show up from behind the Guidos and overtake them, causing Charla to tell Mirna that it's indeed going to be wonderful day for all of them. Bless her! The Robcouple then show up to overtake the Guidos and the FoGs and Charla isn't all about the wonderful days ahead anymore. Bless her.

The Christinas reach Chuquicamata first although the Frat Bastards are just behind them while the Robcouple and the FoGs show up shortly after. It turns out that they have to dress up in helmets and safety suit before they can enter the mine. As they get dressed, the Guidos, DanEs, and Coala Bears show up. The Christinas voice over that it is "chaos" as everyone is grabbing for this and that. The Cha-Cha-Chas show up to join the fray in the meantime. First to finish dressing and to reach the clue stand are the Robcouple. It's now time for a Detour.

Philo explains that the Detour will feature "two jobs essential to the smooth running of a large copper mine". No, not persuading investors to open their wallets and preventing workers from going on strikes, silly. In "By Hand", Teams must choose a two-ton tire and fix bolts and washers to secure it to a monster truck. In "By Machine", each Team member must get behind a front-loader and transport gravel to a disignated spot marked by a stick until they have a pile high enough to reach a yellow line indicated on the stick. The Robcouple opt to play with the machine. On the other hand, the DanEs and the Christinas opt to use their hands. As the Christinas say, it's just "screwing on", that particular Detour. Make your own joke here.

As Ambore gets behind a front-loader, the Robfather explains their Detour choice to the camera, pointing out that he was in the construction business for "like, ten years" and he knows how to drive a front-loader. Yes, but how about Ambore? She has to do the Detour as well. As Ambore begins to operate the front-loader, tossing gravel everywhere in the process, the Cha-Cha-Chas, the Frat Bastards, the FoGs, and the Coala Bears decide to do things by hand. It turns out that the Frat Bastards have no choice anyway since Kevin can't "drive stick". Back to the Robcouple, Ambore is handling the front-loader like a professional. She really does look like she can have a good career driving front-loaders, I tell you. The Robfather tells the camera that he's proud of her for "doing good" and says that it is "pretty cool" to see her behind the wheel of the front-loader. Meanwhile, the Cha-Cha-Chas, the Christinas, the IVFs, and the Coala Bears get down to work on their two-ton tires. David tries to tell Mary that she's doing things wrong but she brushes him off with a "Whatever!" Meanwhile, Charla says that she needs a stepstool to reach the tire and Mirna immediately goes on to say that she has no time to look for a stepstool. As Charla stomps off to get a stepstool, Mirna cries that there is no stepstool. Charla points at the direction she is walking towards, where, sure enough, there are many stepstools waiting to be used. "This is a stepstool!" she yells impatiently back at Mirna, who suddenly has nothing more to yell back. Oh my goodness, they are so funny to watch!

The Frat Bastards are working. Meanwhile, Mirna is dragging a stepstool back to their tire while Charla walks beside her. Mirna moans that her fingers are bleeding. "I can't help it!" is Charla's blunt and oh-so-succinct reply. The Christinas, overhearing the two crazy cousins screeching and shouting at each other, diplomatically tell the camera that perhaps it's the FoGs' style to be "kinda abrasive". Indeed, Mirna can't stop complaining as she begins tightening the washers on the tire. Meanwhile, the Guidos show up at the clue stand and opt to play with machines while the Tokens opt to use their hands. Elsewhere, the Robfather is now behind the wheel of the front-loader while the Guidos get ready to begin their own Detour. Bill gets on the front-loader and sends a cloud of dust straight into Joe's face. "Sorry!" he says.

The Robcouple are done and they receive a clue that tells them to get into one of the vehicles available for use and drive themselves some 71 miles to the "end of the landscape" called Valley of the Moon. The Valley of the Moon is called thus because of its sand and stone formation comparable to the surface of the moon. I understand that it's a place of awe-inspiring beauty especially at night. Of note is the 40km/hr speed limit through the Valley of the Moon due to the various sharp turns and bends in that area. Once they've passed the Valley of the Moon, Teams can go up to 50km/hr as they look for the Valley of the Dead, which is the Pit Stop for this leg of the Race. By the way, that place is more commonly known as Mars Valley due to its supposed similarity to the landscape of Mars, but I suppose Valley of the Dead sounds more dramatic than Mars Valley, which sounds like a pinball game. The Robcouple hop into one of the vehicles lined up for them and head off for the Pit Stop while the Guidos get busy.

The Coala Bears have found a working pattern where David tightens and Mary bolts. As Mary tells David to be careful, he ends up losing his grip on the nut and falls to the ground. Ouch. The Christinas are also tightening and bolting. The Frat Bastards have finished tightening the nuts in place and now they have to fix the washers over the nuts. Meanwhile, Mirna and Charla are melodramatically turning their inability to fully turn the nuts into a colossal Hemingway-style battle against nature or something like that. Meanwhile, the IVFs, the DanEs, and the Cha-Cha-Chas think they are done but only the Cha-Cha-Chas are deemed having done their nuttings (oh hush, not that kind of nutting) and boltings properly so they leave in second place. The IVFs, after tightening what has to be tightened, leave next, followed by the DanEs. As the Cha-Cha-Chas leave in their bright and shiny vehicle, Danny points out that his manicurist will freak out over what he's done today. I'd suppose so, especially if his manicurist is anything like Mirna. The IVFs opt to follow the Cha-Cha-Chas as they leave. The DanEs take off as well.

The Guidos hit a snag in their progress when they realize that Bill has misunderstood the clue and Joe has to take his turn behind the wheel of the front-loader as well. The trouble is, Joe isn't sure that he is as good as Bill behind that thing. Drew takes a medicine break. Then, oh my, Mirna is on Charla's shoulders so that she can reach the higher areas for the nutting and bolting. Freaking awesome, really! I mean, Charla is on a stepstool and she's carrying Mirna on her shoulders. Seriously though, those wheels are really big and the steepstool isn't a ladder that they can adjust to go higher, so this situation clearly needs some drastic actions to be taken. This particular scene is going to be submitted for consideration at the next Emmy awards, I'd bet. Meanwhile, the Coala Bears believe they are done with their Detour but the supervisor points out that, like David suspected earlier, they don't get many right. Yet again Mary has deliberately sabotaged her Team for not listening to her husband, but I don't think she realizes that at all.

The Guidos are done and they leave. So are the Tokens, who have been quietly working all this while, it seems, and they too are off. Meanwhile, the Frat Bastards work, the Christinas work. The FoGs, separated now, work as well. Mirna mutters that everyone else is finishing while Charla squeals that she's going to "hang" as she loses her balance on the stepstool and dangles for a few seconds from a bolt before falling off. Awesome! Meanwhile, the Tokens can't seem to locate their vehicles and start calling each other's names in a manner more like the Tokens I remember back in season three. The Frat Bastards are done and they overtake the Tokens in leaving next. As the Christinas and the Coala Bears look unhappily at the Frat Bastards leaving, the Tokens amusingly get a cab to go to the "front gate" of the mine. They reach the front gate only to find no vehicle waiting for them. "Ah, shoot!" goes Teri. Meanwhile, the FoGs are done and they are off, leaving the Coala Bears and the Christinas behind. They pause for a second for Charla to grunt unhappily as they realize that they are given "another high-ass car". Heh, heh, heh. The Christinas leave next, and soon after the befuddled Tokens finally locate their vehicle. Poor Mary and David look so unhappy at being left behind in the mine.

On the road, Ambore reminds the Robfather that they have to pass the Valley of the Moon to get to the Valley of the Dead. Most amusingly, at that moment there is a promo at the bottom of the screen during the episode I am watching that says, "Coming up next: Without A Trace!" This is one of those moments of perfect timing that has to be seen to be believed, I tell you. Behind, Danny tells Oswald that his performance at the Detour surely means that he "was a man in a previous life". Oh, stop, these people are killing me with laughter today. My poor stomach can't take this non-stop laughing. It is evening when David finally finishes the Detour and the Coala Bears get to leave.

Ahead, drama is rising. You see, the FoGs have paid a cab driver all their remaining money to lead them to the Valley of the Dead, so they are not pleased that the Christinas are following them. Mirna says to the camera that she will not be "used". So she stops the vehicle. And the Christinas, despite knowing how "abrasive" the FoGs are, stupidly stop as well when they should know better and just drive. The Christinas suggest most reasonably that they can all try to locate the place together. Mirna however says that the FoGs are not going to help the Christinas while Charla pipes up that the two Teams can split the fare. The Christinas learn that the cab driver wants a hundred dollars, which obviously they don't want to pay as they suggest that the driver could have just drawn them a map or something instead of taking them all the way there. The Christinas are trying to suggest an alternative but the FoGs take this to mean that the Christinas... I don't know, want the driver to draw the Christinas a map or something, because Mirna snaps that the driver is not drawing the Christinas any map. As Mirna hisses something to the driver, the Christinas decide that Mirna is "outta control" and flee like they should have done in the first place. They conclude in their vehicle that the FoGs are "scary". Well, they've finally caught up with the rest of world when it comes to the FoGs!

I don't know what happens next but I still laugh just thinking about it. Apparently the cab driver doesn't know where to go or they are arguing about fare, but when the Tokens, thrilled to be no longer the last Team, drive past the FoGs, that sends the FoGs into some kind of really batcrap crazy meltdown. They start shrieking and moaning something about how the driver wants all their money. Mirna actually tosses their purses into the driver's hands as she wails about how it's okay, she doesn't have to eat tomorrow, he can take all their money. Charla is also shrieking at the same time and even more awesomely, her actions and Mirna's are mirror images of each other as they bombard the drama with their crazy hysterics. What truly kills me with laughter is how despite claiming that he can take all their money, Mirna is not letting go of the purse she's placed in his hands. Whatever they are doing, it looks like an effective way of getting the driver to agree to whatever they want him to do because they are on their way again, just after the Coala Bears drive past them. As they hit the road, they moan about the evil Christinas trying to "use" them. Charla gives this ridiculous confessional about how the Christinas prove that beauty is only skin deep and how evil people can use plastic surgery to hide their true natures. She goes on to say that it's not easy to have "a pure heart" and "morals" like she and Mirna clearly have. I don't know what to say. The FoGs are so entertaining to watch, they are like a beautiful trainwreck filled with all kinds of craziness and I don't want them to go away on this Race.

The Robcouple have reached the Valley of the Moon and the Cha-Cha-Chas are right behind them. Oswald and Danny comment on the scenery and Oswald actually has tears in his eye. He claims that he's just touched by what he sees because he's reminded of what it means to be alive or something like that, but I suspect it's because of the dust. Danny reaches out his hand for Oswald to pat it as Oswald tells Danny, "Oh my God, I feel like such a bitch!" What is that all about?

Teams are showing up at the Valley of the Moon. The Robcouple and the Cha-Cha-Chas are navigating through the road where no other life is seen. It's a pretty confusing maze of roads, I believe. Then, lo, the Robcouple make one turn and the Pit Stop is right ahead! The Robcouple come in first and Philo gives them a motorcycle each. The Robcouple then do this... dance that I will never admit I giggle at or even find adorable, so there. The Cha-Cha-Chas come in second.

Somewhere behind, Teams are still trying to figure out where to go. At the entrance, a queue is formed as the Frat Bastards stop to ask the guy manning the entrance where they should go to locate the Valley of the Dead. Behind them are the Christinas, then the Tokens, then the Coala Bears, and rounding up the pack are the FoGs. The Christinas decide to drive and overtake the Frat Bastards. Ahead, the IVFs make a wrong turn which put them behind the DanEs and the Guidos, but the DanEs' vehicle stalls temporarily, allowing the Guidos to come in third place at the Pit Stop. The DanEs come in fourth, the IVFs fifth.

The Christinas take the same wrong turn that the IVFs took, only they have no clue that they shouldn't take that turn. Meanwhile, the Frat Bastards mistakenly assume that they are still hampered by the 40 km/hr spped limit once they have left the Valley of the Moon so they are overtaken by the Tokens, the Coala Bears, and the FoGs. The FoGs, by the way, take the time to say to each other in a way clearly meant for the Frat Bastards as they pass those two, "See you, wouldn't want to be you!" Oh, those two. The FoGs also overtake the Tokens and the Coala Bears. Mary gives a stuperfying confessional where she says that when the FoGs overtake them, she knows that the "game" is on. How dare her friends try to overtake her? I suppose she forgets somewhat conveniently that she overtook the FoGs on the road just a while ago before they reached the Valley of the Moon. When the Coala Bears pass the FoGs, Mirna's all, "You wanna overtake me? Bring it, bitches!" as she too steps on the gas. I believe Mirna must really be feeling at the moment that the entire world hates her. Ahead, the Coala Bears come to the same turn and Mary suggests that they head right, the wrong turn, because the sign on the right turn has "more words". Now I know why these two are such fine navigators. All the other Teams take that right turn as well, like lemmings following the biggest lemmings of them all.

Ahead, the Christinas locate a park ranger who points out that they have to turn back the way they came. The Christinas do just that and as they do so, they encounter the lemming trail. For a while they second-guess themselves and stop to ask a passing car the way to the Valley of the Dead. The Tokens, seeing the Christinas ask for directions and then continuing their way, quickly turn back. The other Teams however keep charging ahead, although Drew, noticing the Tokens turning around, wants to turn back but Kevin insists that they keep going straight. Sure enough, the Christinas are on the right track. They come in sixth and the Tokens are just behind in seventh place.

The lemmings meanwhile realize that something is wrong. The Coala Bears turn back, as do the Frat Bastards, while the FoGs manage to get another cab driver to show them the way. The Frat Bastards end up cutting in between the FoGs and the cab, causing Mirna to tell them get out of her way because, as she puts it, "I have to follow!" When the Frat Bastards are not fast enough in moving out of her way, she goes, "What is wrong with you? Driving like a girl!" She goes on and on when she realizes that their cab has gone missing. My goodness, Mirna can really nag when she wants to. My stomach really hurts from laughing so hard.

And finally, after much moaning and groaning, the Teams arrive at the Pit Stop. The FoGs come in eighth. The Coala Bears come in ninth with Mary tellingthe camera that the FoGs are no longer her friends. She says that all she has done in the last two days was to help people so she's now playing for herself only. Um, yeah, whatever, that silly woman.

So finally, coming in last and getting eliminated are the Frat Bastards. I don't know if they ever realize that the speed limit is 50 km/hr and not 40 km/hr, which would have made a difference for them. Poor Drew isn't happy to leave despite his various pains and all, so he actually stomps off until Kevin calls him to be a good sport and come back to the mat to be eliminated. Drew still stomps off anyway for a while. Yes, he hurts here and there, blah blah blah, he's proud he didn't quit, and they will be best friends forever. Whatever, just get Drew to a comfortable bed and make him rest.

Search for more rubbish: