Previously, Teams traveled from Juyongguan, China to Gachurt Village in Outer Mongolia. Along the way, Teams bonded with horses and camels, some better than others, and the Debbies, who kept encountering bad luck again and again on top of making navigational boo-boos, ended up taking their smiley-faces and good-natured optimism out of the Race. Awww. Who's left and who will be eliminated next?

Philo steps out in front of the camera and points out that he's at Outer Mongolia, a place where a nomadic culture has been going strong for 800 years and counting. Philo then says that the landscape is "dotted by tents" and pretends that the pavillion which is part of Hotel Mongolia is one of these "tents" that are supposedly set up by the nomads. Yes, Philo, very funny. Let's stop pretending that things are more exotic than they really are, shall we? He doesn't have much to say anymore for some reason so the show just goes straight to the Race.

6:54 am. The Androids were the first Team to arrive at the Pit Stop in the previous leg so they get to leave first in this leg. Their clue tells them to fly to Hanoi, Vietnam, which Philo explains is about 2,300 miles from where they are at the moment. In Hanoi, Teams must locate the Hòa Lò Prison, built by the French who called it Maison Centrale back in 1904 and has since held political prisoners such as James Stockdale and John McCain. Americans may recognize those names, heh. The Prison is given the charming sobriquet, the Hanoi Hilton, although today part of the Prison has been turned into museum and some of the prison cells now look more posh and comfortable than a typical home in Hanoi. Oh, and the Androids realize that they are not given any money for this leg of the Race.

Now, because we don't want the Teams to do anything really difficult like arranging their own flights and ending up in, say, Honolulu instead of Hanoi, the clue specifically tells the Teams to purchase their tickets at the Air Market Business Centre located at the Chinggis Khaan Hotel. How do I know this? SaR2D2 is breathlessly reading aloud all these details, maybe to Pe3P0 but he's already walk far ahead of her so it's not as if he can hear what she is saying. As she approaches their vehicle, she goes, "Alright, here we go!" I wonder whether she says the same thing every time she gets ready to sit on a toilet bowl. In their vehicle, SaR2D2 talks to the camera about how once more her leaky leg is making it hard for her to run and walk so thank heavens they have a lead over the others. I hope she's not thinking that they will instantly get on the plane and fly off to Hanoi the moment they reach the Hotel because that is never going to happen.

7:07 am. The Bennies are leaving now. They give a "Whoo!" when they realize they are going to Vietnam, they "Whoo!" when they get into their vehicle, and they hit the road with a "Whoo!" Hey, did someone check their bags before letting them leave the Pit Stop? I'm starting to wonder. No wonder these guys never mention anything about being ex-crackheads. They're trying to divert attention from their strange behavior this morning! At any rate, one of them talk about how they never fight, maybe only argue a little. Well, that's because they trust each other, they are each other's strength, and like the Spice Girls would sing, when two becomes waaa-aaaaah-one!

7:45 am sees the D&Ds taking off. As Duke drives, he spots two ladies holding hands as they try to cross the street and asks Lauren whether she thinks they are lesbians. Poor Duke, he's starting to see lesbians everywhere. If he's not careful, he'll end up asking two old ladies holding hand to steady each other during a bingo game whether they are lesbians one of these days. Lauren is like, hey, how is she to know because it's not like you can look at someone and correctly guess their sexual orientation no matter what the gay fans of any hot male celebrity would like to believe. Duke says to the camera that Lauren's not going to change into a straight person anytime soon - the only thing that has to change is his acceptance, or the lack of it. He adds that his daughter is beautiful in and out. That's nice. Their storyline is finished. Does that mean that they will be eliminated at the end of this leg? To Lauren, he tells about that time when he was supposed to serve in Vietnam but somehow his number never came up so he managed to avoid being drafted. Unfortunately many of his friends had their numbers called up and they never came back, he says.

7:52 am. The Merry Melodies get to leave now. As they hit the road, they tell the camera that they are both "very independent" and as they wonder whether to follow a yellow bus that may or may not be going to the Hotel, they tell the camera that they only know each other for two years so making decisions together is still something they are getting used to doing. In short, this is exactly the same thing they said at the start of the leg in the previous episode. We need a new story, guys. Next time, tell me about the time when you guys go bungee-jumping naked or something.

Ahead, SaR2D2 reread their clue where I learn that in addition to not receiving any money for this leg of the Race, Teams are not allowed to beg or sell anything. Maybe she's reading this part of the clue out loud to stop Pe3P0 from making her perform on the streets or worse, sell who-knows-what to get more money. To the camera, SaR2D2 talks about the importance of managing their funds and points out that while the Androids have $40, other Teams may not have that much money. Indeed, Duke has been looking worried since they left the starting line and that's because, as he reveals now to the camera, the D&Ds only have $11. Lauren adds weakly that it's good that they didn't spend all their money on whatever it is they splurged in the previous leg.

The Androids reach the Chinggis Khaan Hotel. This Hotel is the only four-star hotel in this country, by the way. The Androids learn from a guy inside that the Air Market Business Centre is closed and will only open for business at 9:00 am. Just beautiful. They are soon joined by the Bennies. What time is it now?

8:11 am. The Christinas take off. They don't have anything to say to the camera this time around, which is nice. 8:13 am. The Whatevers leave. They too have nothing to say. As the Whatevers get into their vehicle, the Christinas opt to ask around for directions first. As they leave in their vehicle, they say that if the Race will teach them anything, it's to be more confident with their sense of direction. And, hopefully, think a little bit more before speaking. The Christinas go on to talk about the trials and tribulations of being stereotyped as pageant girls to the camera while reassuring themselves that they don't need Mapquest anymore after the Race. I suppose it's a good thing therefore that Mapquest isn't a sponsor on this show. It isn't, right?

Once the Whatevers have hit the road, Kimberly tells Rob to avoid hitting a dog and the camera cuts to a dog slowly moving so far off the road that Rob would have to drive off the road to hit it. Rob understandably points out that he's not going to be making roadkills out of dogs anytime soon. Bizarrely enough, the editors use this scene as a lead into Kimberly telling the camera that she's not letting Rob get away with being rude to her. If that is an example of Rob being rude to her, he's been more patient with her than he should be. Rob then realizes that they are lost. Kimberly insists that they shouldn't freak out and he gives her an annoyed look. Again, I think he's been more patient with her than this show would want me to believe.

8:16 am. The Coala Bears depart. As they drive, David at the front tells the camera that going to Hanoi will be a bittersweet experience because his father served in Vietnam and had hinted through not so many words to David that he believed the Vietnam War was one of the worst wars ever. David wants to say more but at that point Mary hollers that other Teams are passing them. Indeed, one vehicle passes them but it's not another Team's vehicle so Mary is just being paranoid here. David stops telling his story to tell Mary that he is already doing 60 but she thinks he's lying and insists that they are going to lose because he's apparently slow. He snaps and tells her in a louder voice that he's already going fast. She reluctantly clams up. Bossy little thing, isn't she?

The D&Ds, the Merry Melodies, the Christinas, and the Coala Bears all show up at the Hotel, where it's not 9:00 am yet. The Teams dutifully line up in front of the closed Air Market office. Aren't we all happy that this Race is now so fair, people? Nobody gets a chance to beat anybody until the last few minutes of every episode!

8:18 am. The Russells are out of the starting line. As they leave in their vehicle, they tell the camera that they have already won in their hearts because they get to be on the Race with each other. Why are these two men so pleased with themselves that they try to pass of everything they do as something very generous and important? Shouldn't they be saying that they want to beat everybody and win the million dollars? Anyway, they say that not many people have the opportunity to be on the Race with their brothers. There's that, I suppose, but come on, guys, how about some competitive spark for once? The Bennies already have the sensitive new age ex-junkie dipsticks market cornered so we are really lacking a he-man Team this season. Flex those muscles and go all Neanderthal on people, okay?

As the Whatevers are directed to the correct road by a helpful expatriate or tourist with an Australian accent, the Air Market Business Centre is this close to opening since the staff are all ready for business behind their places at the counters. Pe3P0 is being his bossy self, telling the other Teams which Team will get which counter since there are four counters and there are six Teams waiting in the line. Then the door opens and the Teams file in. It turns out that the other Teams aren't listening to Pe3P0, heh, because they pretty much walk in and sit down before any available counter.

The Merry Melodies briefly overlook the vacant counter in front of them and the Christinas take the opportunity to place their behinds onto the empty seats, leaving the Merry Melodies standing there looking annoyed since there are no available counters left for them. Tom starts arguing with the Christinas, saying that the ladies have jumped queue while the Christinas insist that the Merry Melodies walked past the counter so they don't see why they couldn't move in. The Bennies, watching the exchange, tell the camera that the Christinas are "conniving" people who would take "every little inch" they can get from other Teams on this Race. No, dear, conniving will be comparable to stealing your parent's money to buy drugs. This isn't conniving, this is seizing advantage of a rival Team's mistake. Is this wrong? Of course not. One can argue that the Christinas can play nice and go, "Hey, you overlooked this counter!" but they are not obligated to. This is, after all, a Race where you are expected to do what you can within the boundaries of the rules to win.

Tom continues to go on and on about how he thought the Christinas were their friends while David whispers to Mary as they wait for a counter to be available whether she wants to stay here and listen to those two Teams argue. Tom tries to guilt trip the Christinas by saying that the Merry Melodies thought that they could trust the Christinas while the Christinas are like, whatever, really. Tom tells Terry, "They are not going to win a beauty pageant of kindness. That is for sure!" while Terry nods in righteous anger. What on earth is a "beauty pageant of kindness"? I'm surprised Tom doesn't just say that the Christinas will burn in hell for their heinous sins. At least that will be less bizarre that coming up with some nonsensical yet pretentious phrase like "beauty pageant of kindness".

9:02 am. The Wisterias finally scramble out of the starting line. They already sound half-dead when they read the clue. Lyn tells the camera that they could use the money but the Race isn't "glamorous" at all. What gives them the idea that this Race is glamorous in the first place? Lyn goes on to compare the pain of being on the Race to that of childbirth. If it's that painful, why don't we get her sedated real good so that she'll spend the rest of the Race being very quiet?

At the Air Market Business Centre, all that drama between the Christinas and the Merry Melodies turn out to be all for nothing since all the Teams there end up with reservations on the same flight: a flight that stops at Beijing on the way to Hanoi, leaving at 1:00 pm and arriving at Hanoi at 9:00 pm the same day. When the Whatevers show up and Rob gives a high-five to the Bennies, he learns from them that there are plenty of seats available for everyone. Sure enough, as the Russells and the Wisterias show up, the Coala Bears inform them of the same. Everyone is going to be on the same flight, how exciting!

Cut to the Chinggis Khaan International Airport. As Teams wait in the International Departures terminal to board their 1:00 pm flight, David wraps Mary's ankle up with an elasticized protector. Remember, she twisted it on the way to the Pit Stop in the previous leg. She asks him not to wrap her ankle too tightly since it hurts and he tells her that she is going to have to "suck it up" when it comes to the upcoming Roadblock and Detour. Mary tells the camera that she will do just that. She's doing it for the kids, you know. Like Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue! Or maybe not.

The plane then takes off and Philo helpfully reminds me that all Teams are on the same flight to Hanoi. It's 10:58 pm when the plane lands in the Noi Bai International Airport so while there had been a delay along the way, at least everyone is delayed. Ten minutes into the show and nothing has happened other than a change of location. The same old story, really. The Christinas are the first to leave the airport and as they get into a cab, they notice that the fare to the Hanoi Hilton costs at least $10. They have $24 so they can still cover the fare, but they remember that the D&Ds have only $11 and go, "That's so scary!" The Whatevers leave next and the Bennies ask their cab to follow the Whatevers'. The Androids are next to head towards the row of the cabs waiting outside the arrivals terminal, with Pe3P0 telling SaR2D2 to run faster and she telling him to remember that she can't. Yes, that will work, that relationship. Work it down to the ground, Pe3P0!

The D&Ds believe that they have found this woman, Lin, who can help them. Actually, Lin looks like she's trying to flee the weirdos by slipping away in the crowd when the D&Ds, looking for her when they reach the cab line, spot her and call her back to help them get a cab. She mutters a half-hearted "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" while clearly trying to avoid looking at the camera. That's seems like a sign of someone not as willing to go as far as to accompany them all the way to the Hanoi Hilton as the D&Ds would like to believe, oh dear, so I'm afraid it's not so shocking when she tells them to wait for her while she, um, do something and doesn't come back. Lauren wants to leave, especially when the Russells get into a van while they wait, but Duke thinks it is better if they have a local around to show them the way. Meanwhile, the Wisterias hire a van and want to share it with the Coala Bears, but the van can't fit all of them (and the camera crew as well, don't forget that) so the Coala Bears have to fend for their own. As the Wisterias leave, they call the Coala Bears sweet people that form a bond with them because they are all from the South. The Coala Bears finally get a cab and tell the driver to go fast. And then the Merry Melodies leave in a cab.

The D&Ds are really worried now and they are about to head into the airport to look for Lin when she shows up with her luggage. It looks like she was waiting for her luggage to show up all this while and not, like I feared, running away from some "crazy Americans" that want to drag her into some scary place just to ruin her virtue. As Lin does what seem like intensive text-messaging on her phone ("Help me! I'm being kidnapped!"), Duke reassures Lauren that they're now on the right track while Lauren merely looks very worried. Ahead, the Christinas notice that there is a truck that tipped over and go "Oh my god!" accordingly. They go "oh my god!" even more accordingly when their cab driver stops the cab and runs out, probably to jot down the truck's registration number so that he can bet on those numbers in some gambling joint. The Whatevers and the Bennies have cab drivers that aren't so curious or superstitious so they end up passing the Christinas. As they do, the Bennies once again pile on the Christinas. Notice how these two guys have nothing but negative things to say about the Christinas since the first episode? I wonder whether something went on between those two Teams that weren't shown because there is clearly some bad blood between them, at least on the Bennies' part. The other Teams - the Russells, the Wisterias, the Coala Bears - soon gape at the sight of the tipped-over truck.

The D&Ds on the other hand are on a different road altogether. It turns out that Lin, that sneaky lady, has taken this opportunity to tell the cab driver to take her to her brother's place first! Duke isn't so happy now when Lin tells her that her brother's place is "only" thirty minutes from the Hanoi Hilton. Then again, if Duke expects Lin to take the D&Ds all the way to the Hanoi Hilton in this late hour and then go on her own merry way home, he's overestimating the charitable nature of the locals. He tells Lauren that clearly they have to work at beating "a lot of Teams" now. Lauren is worried that the D&Ds will be eliminated. Is she thinking that the Hanoi Hilton will remain open at this hour? Relax, dear. At this rate the D&Ds can stop by a hotel and take a good nap to freshen up and they will still make it to the prison in good time. This is, after all, The Amazing Race.

Now Duke shows the money the D&Ds have to Lin and asks her whether the amount is enough. Of course Lin says no. Remember, the D&Ds are now paying for the trip to Lin's destination as well as their own. Lin explains that it costs about $10 to $20 to get from the airport to the Hanoi Hilton and then has the cheek to address a stunned Duke, "Do you not understand?" Duke looks like he is really wishing that he's left Lin to rot in the airport as he stares wearily ahead of him. The cab soon reaches Lin's destination and Duke is kind enough to remove her luggage from the cab for Lin instead of flinging it across the street like other less patient men may do. As Lin merrily goes off to tell her brother how she took advantage of a couple of gullible tourists - and on TV too! - the D&Ds are now faced with the possibility of having not enough money to pay their cab driver. Lauren is worried that they may end up in jail or something. Well, since they are going to prison... okay, bad joke, I know.

The Bennies' cab pulls up in front of the Hanoi Hilton and sure enough, it's closed and won't be opened until 8:00 am the next morning. The Bennies are joined by the Whatevers and as the Christinas show up, the Bennies go, "Here comes the blonde cows!" See what I mean? There's bad blood here. Maybe the Christinas stole the Bennies' lipstick or something. Then again, as the Christinas push at the doors of Hanoi Hilton and wail, "Why can't we get in?", maybe the Bennies just don't like stupid people. The thing is, the Bennies are pretty cordial in front of the Christinas and it's behind the women's backs that the men draw out the knives, so I don't know what to think of the Bennies. It's hard to reconcile the notion of all-male Teams on this show, usually overcompensating die-hard fratboy types, with two men that are... well, bitchy like this. Soon every Team but the D&Ds are here and Pe3P0 is all amped up because he's finally getting the chance to camp in Vietnam. I bet David, if he hears Pe3P0, will be thinking, "Boy, I wanna smack that punk in the head. He thinks war is funny or something?"

Eventually the D&Ds show up and Duke offers the cab driver $11. The driver makes a visible face, no doubt because actual fare must be about double that amount, but he takes the money and shakes Duke's hand anyway. The D&Ds tell the camera that they "lucked out" and the driver was "godsent". No, he's just not keen of causing a fuss when there are cameras around, that's all. It always make me uneasy when Teams act like they are being done a big favor when they shouldn't let cab drivers take them to their destination and then spring the "We can't pay you!" bombshell on these drivers, especially when the distance between the airport and the prison is pretty far.

The night rolls on and then it's nearly 8:00 am already. My, how time flies on this show when nothing absolutely happened fifteen minutes into this episode! The gates of the Hanoi Hilton open and a local hand out rolled-up parchments for the Teams to read. As to be expected, the scroll contains information about the hundreds of American soldiers being held in this Prison and Philo voices over that John McCain was one of the "most notable" prisoners here who "enjoyed" five years of hospitality after his plane was shot down in Vietnam. Strangely enough, no mention of the fact that the US goverment of that time chose to forget that there were hundreds of American POWs being held and tortured in that dreadful place. Anyway, Philo says that Teams must locate the display case featuring John McCain's flight suit and a staff standing nearby will hand them their next clue. David tells the camera, "I'm just honored to be here, really just for my dad!" Er, okay, that's nice.

Then the Teams are allowed to make a rampage into the Hanoi Hilton and they do. While some Teams start running around looking into random rooms hoping to get lucky, the Russells study the directory of the museum. David tries to push open a door that won't budge while Mary tells him to leave it, saying that "if it won't open, it won't open". Sounds like someone David knows, heh. The Hanoi Hilton isn't just a single building but many buildings within a single compound so Teams have plenty of opportunities to scatter in all directions. The Whatevers stumble into a display of mock-up prisoners and Rob lets out his usual catchphrase, "This is crazy, dude!" The Coala Bears peer into a prison cell with a mock prisoner inside it and Mary marvels at how small the cell is. Well, this was a prison after all and it's used to house enemies of the Vietnamese government at that time, so perhaps humane treatment of the prisoners was out of the question. The Christinas decide not to waste time looking into buildings that Teams have just came out of looking all dejected. Probably smart, that, provided you can trust the other Teams not to pretend that they haven't found the clue.

Amusingly enough, the Christinas opt not to tail after the Merry Melodies and sure enough, the Merry Melodies walk into a building and find John McCain's flight suit. Terry tells Tom that they should pause and pay respect to that jump suit - come on, people, isn't it easier to just write John McCain fan mail? - but they quickly scram when other Teams, as if they have all learned of the location of the room together, all file into the room after the Merry Melodies. I love how Mary peers at the jumpsuit first until she notices the guy standing right in front of her handing out clues and then she holds out her hands expectedly. She looks so adorably clueless yet earnest in that scene, heh.

The Russells are the last to come into the room but it is a deliberate gesture on their part so that they can stand before the jumpsuit and take a moment of silence. The whole effect is ruined by the fact that the Russells use this moment to talk about how they are honoring all servicemen who are fighting all over the world and they don't care if doing this puts them in last place, blah blah blah, which is nice if this scene doesn't have a very premeditated feel to it. Maybe I'm being unfair and the Russells are sincere in this scene, and if that's the case, I apologize, but watching that scene and the confessional that follows, I find myself wondering why these guys are trying so hard to come off on TV as the good guys. Somehow the whole "See? We're so nice we don't care if we get eliminated because we are such good people!" vibe the Russells are channeling on the Race is rubbing me off the wrong way. I want to watch Teams racing on this show, not going around making deliberate statements about how good they are as people. If I want that, I'd go watch some feel-good talkshow.

Teams now learn that they must head about one and a half mile to Hanoi's Old Quarter, which is of course the oldest district of Hanoi that functions as a tourist attraction nowadays, and locate the Pho Hang Luoc intersection. There is a flower shop with the familiar yellow and red banners at that intersection where they must collect their next clue from. All Teams get into cabs apart from the D&Ds who have no money left. The D&Ds therefore have to travel to the flower shop on foot. The Merry Melodies, the Androids, and the Coala Bears reach the Intersection first but they can't locate the flower shop at once. The area is bustling with sounds and activity, by the way, which must further aggravate the confusion the Teams must be feeling in that scene. The Merry Melodies spot the shop first and realize from their next clue that it's now time for a Roadblock.

Philo steps out to explain that in this Roadblock, there is a row of bicycles outside the shop loaded with bouquets and the person doing this Roadblock will take one of these bicycles to the streets and sell the flowers until they get at least 80,000 "Vietnemese dollars" (I suppose calling the Vietnamese currency by its proper name, the Dong, will cause the FCC to think that this show is naughty and deserves to be fined) or $5 in US currency. Teams however are free to sell as many flowers as they can and keep anything above the $5 they get out of this. Hear that, D&Ds? This is their lucky break. Tom takes this one.

Eh, the Russells manage to beat the Coala Bears (who are asking for directions to the flower shop at that moment) and the Androids to the flower shop. Maybe it does pay to show some respect to a jumpsuit in a museum once in a while. As Tom calls out, "Flower? Flowers?" as he tries to balance himself on the bicycle, Erwin takes this one for the Russells. The Androids are the next to show up at the shop and Pe3P0 takes this one. Tom simply calls out to the people he meets to buy some flowers which scares or amuses them rather than to get them to open up their wallets. Erwin on the other hand clowns around and charms some old ladies into buying some flowers. Pe3P0 gets some old ladies to buy his flowers. As the Whatevers and the Bennies show up, Tyler laughs at the sight of Tom on his bicycle. Tom begs people to buy flowers, which is not working too well since he does come off as desperate in a manic way that won't endear him to the people he come across. Erwin loses his balance in the meantime and his bicycle crashes onto the road. A kindly old lady helps him get his bike back up and the flowers all gathered up and placed back into the basket at the back of the bicycle.

Ahead, Rob and James take this Roadblock for their respective Teams. I guess Tyler doesn't want to look stupid and have people laughing at him. Rob's "Flowers for sale! Flowers!" makes him come off like a madman hitting the streets. Run away, people! The Christinas show up next and Kandice (I think) takes this one. The Coala Bears show up as well and David takes it. The Wisterias are next and Lyn takes this one, which is wise because Karlyn will probably scare everyone she meets into tears. And finally, the D&Ds are still walking towards the Intersection, with Duke complaining that the day is very hot. Well, he'll get to ride a bike next so the day can't be too bad.

Rob sells some flowers for 4,000 VND each. Pe3P0 sells some too. SaR2D2 tells the camera that "all the women" love Pe3P0. What's creepy is how Pe3P0 is seated beside SaR2D2 in this confessional, smiling in a grotesquely self-satisfied manner as SaR2D2 trumpets his appeal to women on TV. Who is SaR2D2 trying to fool? Pe3P0 must be that guy who tries to pass off his mother as his prom date. SaR2D2 has a point of the appeal of his blond hair though. Many Asians do get dazzled by the sight of a big blond guy from America. As SaR2D2 hollers in a manner painful to my eardrums for Pe3P0 to get back to the shop and turn in his earnings, she tells the camera that she has to do the next Roadblock so she intends to "jump in with both feet. "No pun intended," she adds.

The Androids manage to make more than $5 so they receive their next clue. Philo explains that Teams must now make their way on bus to the "tiny village" called Vác (or Phõ Vác as it is called on the road signs in this episode). This village, by the way, is famous for its bird cages that they charge a tidy sum for. Teams must locate a Buddhist temple (the sign outside the temple says Dinh Canh Hoach) to receive their next clue. As the Androids leave, Pe3P0 tells SaR2D2 that they need to take the correct bus and she goes, "Of course!" He's so patronizing towards her, it's ridiculous. Then again, she allows him to get away with treating her like she's a very silly child so it's not as if she's entirely blameless in this situation.

Rob needs to get 4,000 VND more. Meanwhile, Kandice is selling just outside the shop, prompting Godwin to scream Erwin's name is such a staggeringly high-pitched manner that I'm not surprised when Erwin mutters under his breath, "Shut up." Godwin tells Erwin that there is a big crowd gathered around the Christinas and Erwin should take advantage by selling his flowers to them, which Erwin does. Godwin tells the camera that of course they will lose out to a couple of pretty young ladies even if they are "good in academics". Back at the flower shop, chaos breaks loose. Rob and Lyn also take advantage of the crowd with Rob looking really deranged with his eyes wide open as he shoves some flowers into the faces of the people around him. Tom is actually arguing quite rudely with a lady that is trying to bargain with him with Tyler says woodenly, obviously for the camera, "This is awesome!"

The D&Ds finally show up at the shop and Duke takes this one because as Lauren puts it, he works in sales. Rob is done and then so is Kandice, so the Whatevers and the Christinas are off. The Bennies are done next and they try to ask for the directions to the bus station from a motor trishaw driver who doesn't understand why they can't just hire his motor trishaw, heh. Speaking of the bus station, the Androids have purchased their bus tickets there and now it's just a matter of figuring out which bus is the one that they should board. After some confused asking around, they are directed to a particular bus. As the bus takes off with the Androids in it, SaR2D2 can only hope that their bus is the correct one that will take them to Phõ Vác. Back at the flower shop, the Russells have sold enough flowers so they are done as well. And then, so are the Merry Melodies, much to the relief of the people that Tom has been yelling at on the streets all this while.

On the road, a young man on the bus tells the Androids that the bus is actually on its way back to central Hanoi. Pe3P0 yells for the bus to stop. Meanwhile, the Russells board the correct bus to Phõ Vác. They are the first Team to do so. Back on the HanoiBus, the same young man that tells the Androids of their unplanned near-trip to the opposite end of Hanoi now informs them that they have to take "Bus 22" to get to Phõ Vác. They get off at a bus stop and a local cop directs them to this big sign by the bus stop that tells them that Bus 22 does in fact makes a stop at the bus stop. All the Androids have to do now is to wait.

Back at the flower shop, the Wisterias and the Coala Bears are finished with the Roadblock and they are off. Both manage to find locals that will show them where they can take a bus to Phõ Vác. Meanwhile, the Bennies wander around, lost, when they spot the Christinas. Because they need help from the Christinas, they manage to be nice in this instance and manage to go, "Oh, the blondies are here!" without making any bovine comparisons. The Christinas say that they have no idea where they are going. The Bennies ask about the Whatevers and again the Christinas claim to have no idea where those two are. The Whatevers are looking at a map, clearly confused as to where they should go. Duke sells more flowers and Lauren praises her father to the camera for doing a good job and adds that the ladies sure love him. Make your own "that's one thing the two of them have in common" jokes here. At any rate, she soon tells Duke that he's sold enough flowers and the D&Ds are on their way as well. They are naturally pleased that they get to keep the excess money Duke made in the Roadblock.

At the bus station, the Merry Melodies are the second team to board a bus to Phõ Vác. Tom is worried though because they are the only Team on the bus. The Androids are still waiting at their bus stop. The Christinas and the Bennies get directions from a local and the Whatevers, spotting the two Teams, decide to follow them. The Wisterias, who are supposed to have someone leading them around but that person has gone AWOL (Karlyn must have scared the poor dear away), also spot the party and tag along. The Bennies don't sound pleased while the Wisterias say aloud to the camera as they follow the others that they will all follow each other to hell, heh. Come on, ladies, this place isn't that bad! The D&Ds also spot the party and tag along as well.

Some drama ensues when the Teams find it a menace to cross the street with traffic that won't stop even if they use the zebra crossing, with Kimberly almost getting knocked down by a bike. Rob's reaction? "Oh my god." How do you know that he's worried? He doesn't say "dude" like he always does at the end of that exclamation. Anyway, I emphatize. Locals of that area learn quickly to gauge the distance between vehicles so that they can reasonably run across to the other side of the street safely but that comes after years of trial and error trying to outrun the vehicles on the streets. The tourists who are used to vehicles stopping for them when they use the zebra crossing are on their own.

At any rate, nobody dies while trying to cross the street and the Teams end up at the bus station where they catch up with the Coala Bears (whose guide came through and led them all the way to the bus station). All these Teams board a bus to Phõ Vác. Duke tells the camera, pleased, that the D&Ds are pretty lucky to have caught up with these Teams who finished their Roadblock some twenty to forty minutes ahead of the D&Ds. Yes, they are very lucky, especially when they get enough money in the process to pay the VND5,000 bus fare to Phõ Vác. This leaves the Androids who are still waiting at the bus stop for Bus 22. Here's Bus 02, there's Bus 17, but alas, no Bus 22. SaR2D2 says that they are bound to be eliminated for sure. Oh, I share her hope. Let the Androids get eliminated! Pe3P0 groans that they have messed up, that's for sure.

On the bus to Phõ Vác, David looks out the window and reflects about how disconcerting it is that he has always heard stories about Vietnam from his father that revolves death and fighting but here he is in Vietnam, looking at peaceful sceneries and finding the place very beautiful. He says that it is hard to imagine that this is the same place that his father was years ago. I can see where he's coming from but at the same time I'd like to think that this Vietnam isn't really the same Vietnam that David's father fought in back in the 1960s! Who knows, hopefully one day this show will go to places like Baghdad while someone will reminisce about wartime stories of a father who fought there only to discover that the Baghdad he visits during the Race is a peaceful and more happy place. Okay, this concludes my very brief soapbox of optimistic hope for the world and all that. Let's get on with the show, shall we?

At Phõ Vác, the Russells get off their bus and realize that the Temple is about one kilometre from where they are at the moment. They get this information from some fellows who then offer the Russells a ride there on their bikes. This is another way appearances work for some Teams, I suspect. The cameras always help, of course, but things aren't so simple. The blondes get some kind of special treatment due to their appearances while the Russells get a more intimate kind of helpfulness from the locals because they can blend in with the locals. Erwin turns down the offer and here Philo voices over that Teams are "strictly forbidden" to get on bikes, much less operate one anywhere in Vietnam for "safety reasons". Is there where I blame the insurance people and the lawyers for completely defanging the Race?

Back in town, Bus 22 finally shows up for the Androids and they board it after some cautious enquires as to whether this bus will really take them to Phõ Vác. In the bus, SaR2D2 points out the obvious to the camera: she thinks the Androids are in last place. Gee, I wonder what makes her think that. Could it be the fact that they wasted time by boarding the wrong bus the first time around? Ahead at Phõ Vác, a bunch of musicians start to play as the Russells arrive. So, we not only have charter transportations for the Teams, we also greet their arrival with music and a dragon dance performance? What, no drinks and a backrub? This Race is so mean on the Teams! The Russells pick up a clue from the clue stand and realize that it's now time for a Detour: "Fuel" or "Fowl".

Philo sporting a noticeable bulge in his pants - he's an excitable fellow, I tell you - explains that these Detours involve activities commonly done by "Vietnamese tradesmen". In "Fuel", Teams must travel on foot to a "workstation" (the house of Nguyën Vãn Thuý, the last President of South Vietnam before it fell to North Vietnam in 1975, according to the clue) and dig out some wet coal from a pit using a pot and use the wet coal in a "traditional press" to make 30 coal bricks. Hmm, this Detour sounds like it's prepared to favor one specific Team in mind, don't you think? In "Fowl", Teams must travel by foot to a "courtyard" in Nhà Thò where they will use the materials provided to build a "traditional birdcage". Phõ Vác is known for its birdcage industry so it's not surprising that making one comes up in a Detour. The Russells decide to make coal bricks because making a birdcage seems more complicated to them. Some locals agree to take them to Nhà Thò.

The Merry Melodies arrive at Phõ Vác and accept a ride at the back of the bikes of some locals. The locals at Phõ Vác sure like to give people rides, I wonder why. They hope they are headed in the right place. Well, they certainly haven't read right that part in the rules about not getting on the bikes of strangers, that's for sure. Ahead, the Russells have arrived at the Workstation where they are suitably impressed as a surly-looking fellow demonstrate with some force how to make a coal brick using the hand press. The Russells then get to work. They make a few bricks that seem to be okay although the locals watching them can't stop laughing at the sight of the Russells at work. Then again, posh people getting their hands are always funny to watch.

The Merry Melodies show up at the Temple where they at first can't see the clue stand since the dancers are moving around it. Perhaps the mayor of Hanoi has informed the locals of Phõ Vác what a meanie Tom had been during the flower-selling Roadblock. The Merry Melodies also decide that a birdcage is longer to make so they will make coal bricks instead. At the Workstation, the Russells have cranked out 30 coal bricks... only to be informed by the Detour supervisor that all the coal bricks are too short (he puts a coal brick made by the locals next to one made by the Russells to demonstrate this) so the Russells have to start all over again, oh dear. As the third bus carrying the Coala Bears, the Whatevers, the Bennies, the D&Ds, and the Christinas arrive at Phõ Vác and Mary's ankle starts to hurt as Teams go their separate ways looking for the Temple, the Russells are cranking out hopefully better and bigger coal bricks when the Merry Melodies show up and think that making coal bricks is like playing with Play-Doh. The Merry Melodies are obviously more entertaining to the locals watching the Teams since they prove to be more inept at using the press.

At the Temple, the Bennies, the Christinas, and the Whatevers show up, with the D&Ds coming up shortly behind them. Rob opts to do "Fuel" and then asks the Bennies somewhat insecurely what those guys are doing. The Bennies, prefer to do "Fuel", maybe because they have experience in, uh, refining things, let's just say. The Christinas and the D&Ds also opt to make coal bricks. The Wisterias show up next and have no idea what a "traditional birdcage" looks like so they make coal bricks as well. Oh, and that these ladies know what what a coal brick is? These Teams all make a beeline to the Workstation. The Coala Bears finally show up once the other Teams have left and seeing the dancers causes Mary to go with a chuckle, "Oh, wow! It's one of those things you see on TV, Dave!" She really sounds thrilled at having to see the performance up close, how sweet, and she even goes, "Excuse me! Excuse me!" as she tries to move to the clue stand. David tells the camera the obvious, he's a coal miner so the Coala Bears will be making coal bricks.

At the Workstation, the Merry Melodies face the same problem as the Russells: their coal bricks are too short. Fortunately, they have the foresight to get the Detour supervisor to check their coal bricks after they have made only four coal bricks instead of 30. The Russells, on the other hand, mean business and this time their 30 bricks all meet the standard set by the Detour supervisor so they are given their next clue. They must now go on foot to a rice field in Canh Dong Dia which is the Pit Stop for this leg of the Race. I'm not familiar with Phõ Vác and even more so with the Vietnamese language so I'm not sure about this but I suspect that "Canh Dong Dia" isn't really a name for the rice field as much as it is what we call a rice field in Vietnam, since "Canh Dong Dia" translates to "field of eastern rice". Anyway, the Russells are on their way to the field of eastern rice, guided by one of the ever-helpful locals of Phõ Vác. Hmm, Canh Dong Dia sounds more impressive and exotic than "field of eastern rice", I must say.

Finally, the Androids show up at Phõ Vác where SaR2D2 must be dismayed to learn that they have to walk a kilometre to the Temple. Pe3P0 actually tells her that she is moving too slow for his liking while they make their way there on foot and she reminds him that her artificial knee is having problems. The sympathetic Pe3P0 tells her that one kilometre is a "piece of cake". "You can do it?" he asks her. That is clearly a rhetorical question. She says in a breathless manner that she can and starts moving in a half-skipping, half-galloping manner to keep up with Pe3P0. Clearly she needs to find a boyfriend who can make artificial legs of better quality if you ask me.

The bunch of Teams that are on their way to the Workstation are lost. It looks like the Wisterias' statement about everyone going to hell together may be prophetic after all. The D&Ds manage to get separated from the herd when they move too far to ask for directions from some locals so they are really on their own this time. At the Temple, the Androids have found the clue stand and by this point I have begin to instinctively cringe whenever SaR2D2 starts shrieking out Pe3P0's name in that high-pitched manner of hers. The Androids gravitate towards coal bricks because they are, after all, androids and what-not. Oops, the show makes a boo-boo when they caption the Androids as "Currently in first place", unless they mean "first place" when it comes to annoying me off completely. Meanwhile, the Merry Melodies are still working on their coal bricks. Ahead, the herd minus the D&Ds manage to find someone on a bike to show them the way to the Workstation. The Bennies wonder where the D&Ds are. According to Lauren, they are in some kind of maze. The D&Ds are wandering around the place, lost.

The Coala Bears are the third team to arrive at the Workstation and the Merry Melodies at this point have only about ten coal bricks done. David gets some primer from the demonstrator and then quickly cranks up the coal bricks. It turns out that the Bennies decide to run off on their own now that they have their own guide so as they run along with their guide, the Whatevers and the Christinas are left behind calling out for the "boys" and wondering where the Bennies have disappeared to. The Bennies show up at the Workstation, causing Mary to call out to them, wondering what took the Bennies so long to get here. The Bennies naturally don't say that they suck at finding directions. Instead, they say that David must be in his element, making coal bricks and all, and David insists that he's dealing with "mud" here while back home he works with "real" coal which is apparently "hard" compared to the fake coal of Vietnam. Well, he's just the miner, not the mine engineer, so I suppose it's okay that he doesn't know that there are wet as well as dry coals in this world.

The Russells find their way to the Pit Stop where Philo checks them in as team number one. Philo also gives them a "state-of-the-art home entertainment system". No mention of what kind of entertainment system this is, though. Maybe the sponsor is shy or something, heh.

The D&Ds by luck stumble upon Nhà Thò where they then opt to perform the birdcage making Detour. As they work, they hope some Teams are still lost out there somewhere. Indeed, the Christinas, the Whatevers, and the Wisterias are still looking for the Workstation but eventually they do find themselves there. There is no love lost between Rob and the Bennies as Rob asks the Bennies what they are supposed to do next. Tyler directs Rob towards the demonstrator, who show the three Teams that have just shown up how to make those yummy coal bricks. Meanwhile, Tyler complains to James that he's dehydrated. What, they don't make these guys sweat it out during their stint at the rehab center? The Christinas get to work where they praise themselves for being such "brick-making machines" and tell the camera that they have a "little brick factory" thing going during the Detour. I notice that what these ladies find witty and what I find witty aren't always the same thing. But I must say, these two work together unlike some Teams who rely on the male to do all the work.

Unlike, say, the Coala Bears where Mary is bossing David around and pointing out that the coal bricks he is cranking out are too short. David tells the camera that his mind really isn't on the Race at that time. He's unsurprisingly remembering the stories his father told him about Vietnam and, surprisingly, is feeling self-conscious about being an American in Vietnam. If he's worried about the Vietnamese feeling hostile towards Americans though, he shouldn't be since the people watching them, at the very least, are more amused than angry at the presence of these wacky Americans doing funny things with wet coal. Besides, Vietnam loves the American dollar too much to carry a long grudge. Finally, the Androids show up at the Workstation and get to work, with Pe3P0 saying happily to the cameras that the Androids have caught up with the other Teams.

Finally, the Merry Melodies manage to complete 30 coal bricks that are good enough for the Detour supervisor and they get to go on their way to the Pit Stop. Elsewhere, the D&Ds are still assembling their birdcage with Duke as always saying optimistically that they can still be in the Race and other Teams may be having problems that can be holding them back. He tells Lauren that their decision to make the birdcage is a "perfect" one. Lauren doesn't look convinced but she keeps quiet nonetheless as she continues to work.

Lo, the Merry Melodies arrive at the Pit Stop but because they have broken a rule by accepting a ride on their way to the Temple (as Philo explains again in a clear voiceover), the Merry Melodies are slapped with a 30-minute time penalty. Oopsie. They are made to stand at a patch of dry husks that seems to have been set up especially for them, heh, and moan and groan about how they are done for. The other Teams are getting closer and closer to completing their Detours so what will happen now?

Duke is clearly grating on Lauren's nerves as he keeps talking about how things will turn out fine and she all but snaps at him as she stabs a rattan into a slot with more force than necessary. The Bennies are done with the coal bricks and they are on their way. The Coala Bears shortly after also complete their 30 bricks in good order. Rob meanwhile is moaning that he has no more energy left and Kimberly reminds him that they (and by that she means "he") have three more coal bricks left to do and they also don't want to lose to the Androids again. As the Coala Bears leave, the Christinas are also finished with their coal brick production stint. Alas, Mary leaves her fanny pack behind as they leave. The Whatevers are next to be done, wih Rob calling Kimberly to let him catch up her since he has just "worked his ass off". Then the Androids are also done, leaving the Wisterias to wonder how they can end up behind the Androids. Because Pe3P0 is a robot that can crank out things with unbelievable efficiency?

Ahead, the Coala Bears realize that they are missing a fanny pack so David tells Mary to wait there as he runs back to retrieve it. The Bennies show up at the Pit Stop as team number two. Meanwhile, the D&Ds are still making a bird cage while David picks up Mary's fanny pack. The Wisterias shortly after have completely their task and I don't know whether to be amused or cringe when I realize that Karlyn has taken off her top and worked in her bra throughout the whole Detour. Ahead, Pe3P0 run across the worried Mary and, correctly guessing why Mary is standing there instead of wondering whether Mary has scared David into hiding, asks SaR2D2 whether they have everything with them. He also tells SaR2D2 that they can outrun the Coala Bears, which is an odd thing to say since clearly the Coala Bears aren't going to be running after them anytime soon. Besides, she has a sprained ankle. David finally shows up with the fanny back and the two resume walking towards the Pit Stop.

The D&Ds are almost done now. Elsewhere, the Whatevers manage to beat the Christinas, who take a wrong turn somewhere, to the Pit Stop as team number three. The Christinas check in as team number four. The Androids show up next and I don't know what to say when Pe3P0 just keeps walking ahead while SaR2D2 stumbles as her artificial foot can't get a grip on the muddy ground and ends up crawling on all four after Pe3P0. Seriously, it's as if the editors clearly hate Pe3P0 to leave this scene in because Pe3P0 walking ahead, not turning to see whether SaR2D2 is keeping up with him, while blabbing about how awesome they are - man, that scene is really making him come off like a complete asshole. The Androids are team number five. SaR2D2 seems happy. I wonder what she's thinking at that moment.

The Merry Melodies are really worried now since they have about 6:12 minutes left in their time penalty while three Team stands between them and elimination. The D&Ds turn in a finished birdcage and they're off. The Merry Melodies start to boo-hoo-hoo as five minutes are left in their time penalty. The Coala Bears are almost there at the rice field when they realize that the Wisterias are running and catching up fast with them. Then, oops, the Wisterias have overtaken them. Still, Lyn calls out to Mary to run as fast as Mary can. Lyn tells the camera that this is proof that she is not some fairweather friend to Mary, in case some people are mean enough to believe that Lyn is taunting Mary the way one would taunt a cripple by telling her to dance like a superstar. Mary slips and falls on the way to the Pit Stop, causing Lyn to stop as if she wants to help Mary. David however tells Lyn to keep going, which is only right. The Wisterias check in as team number six, much to Lyn's shock and relief, and it's clear at that point why Lyn keeps her top on while Karlyn doesn't. Lyn isn't wearing anything under her top. The Coala Bears come in seventh.

The two Teams make a small fuss about how it's okay for friends to beat each other to the finish line. The Wisterias are in tears as they talk about the stress and how hard it is to worry that they have caused the elimination of their friends on the Race, so clearly the Race has gotten to them in ways they can't imagine when they signed up to be on it. Mary tells the cameras that they are closest to the Wisterias, the Russells, and the Merry Melodies on this Race so it is hard to see the Merry Melodies agonizing as they wait for their time penalty to run out. Mary tells the two to hang in there and reminds them that she wants them to help her walk as she needs someone to lean on to. Isn't she sweet? I normally pooh-pooh at sweetness and sunshine stuff on the Race but when Mary calls her friendship-alliance with those three Teams "the Backpack alliance", I have to confess that I think it is so sweet that someone like the Coala Bears who claim to have little experience outside their hometown will end up being so close to Teams that comprise African-Americans, Asian-Americans, and gay men. It's like watching an United Nations creed on peace and harmony coming together on TV.

The D&Ds are running. Can they make it in time? Alas, no. The Merry Melodies' time penalty runs out and they are checked in as team number eight. They go towards Mary, who is waiting for them, and vow to the camera never to give up. And finally, the D&Ds show up in last place. Aww, Lauren starts to cry and I have to say, I have tears in my eyes watching those two as Duke takes Lauren in his arms to hold her while she cries. Their speech about discovering new things about each other to respect and love each other better is to be expected, but they look so genuinely fond of each other that for a moment, I forget my annoyance that the Race has become so predictable in its format and so dull as a result and recall that for some Teams, the Race can mean so much more to them than the average viewer at home. I will miss them. This is the third episode in a row where my heart gets all worked up at the elimination. Dear heavens, I hope this trend doesn't continue because at the rate things are going, I may not have any Team to root for by the next two episodes!

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