Survivor Fiji: Episode 3
Previously, it was still all about the Ravus, which meant the show was as fun to watch as dancing barefoot on broken shards of glass. On the Moto side, Boo was a one-man disaster magnet and Dreamz was sent to this world to deliver us from our sins. On the Ravu side, oh boy, where do I begin? They were tired, dehydrated, hated Sylvia, but cheered up when they found a pineapple, but became depressed again when they lost the Immunity Challenge because they could put together a flagpole fast enough. Sylvia barely escaped the boot when Rocky and Mookie decided that they'd rather keep her around and boot Erica who screamed at them during the Challenge. Someone is leaving at the end of the episode tonight. Can you guess who? Hint: it ain't the Motos because they're all fat and happy.
Night, day six. The Ravus stagger back to Boot Camp after they've sent Erica to a happier place, and as the Ravus proceed to reenact some Night Of The Living Dead thing around the place, Yau-Man tells the camera that he finally realized how the Ravus were not united. He must be talking about Anthony's sole vote for Sylvia. Meanwhile, the two good friends Rocky and Mookie come upon a "strategy" for the next day: they will chop coconuts and pineapples and extract their juices since they still have no fire. Well, it is a strategy. I mean, previously they didn't have any pineapples in their gameplay, but now, with the pineapples as their allies, the game is on. Meanwhile, Rita and Michelle decide to work on starting a fire when the sun is high in the sky come the next day. It looks like they are considering the possibility of making a secret alliance with the sun. Oh no, will the Motos be taken out one by one as a result of this development?
Rocky tells the camera that Ravus are the "biggest group of losers" this show has ever seen. Normally I would say that we are only three episodes into the show and we can't always be too sure but in this particular circumstance, yeah, I believe Ravu could be as big a loser as Ulong. But then again, I don't think anyone can blame Ravu since they are set up to lose from the moment they lose that Challenge in the first episode. Rocky also adds that something always seems to be working against the tribe and he can't see them winning anytime soon. Neither can I, to be honest.
The Ravus attempt to carry out some postmortem discussion where Rocky suggests that someone leads them the next in the next Challenge. Naturally, he's not suggesting that Sylvia becomes the boss or anything. Rocky probably realizes that he's being too optimistic and reduces his suggestion to that of the Ravus not speaking at the same time, heh. Yau-Man says to the camera that they really need to get their act together. Isn't that obvious? Rita tells the tribe that they need to put side their egos to work together. This is the kind of group discussion where everyone says what should be said but nobody means what they say. In short, this is like a corporate meeting in a typical company. Yau-Man concludes to the camera that the more Challenges they lose, the harder it is to rebound in the game. No kidding, Sherlock. When did he begin to realize that it's impossible to bring back the people they have booted out?
Day seven. Oh, this is ridiculous. Over at Camp Paradiso, the Motos spend the day happily painting the shelter floor blue to stop ants from getting into the shelter (clearly the ants can't come in via the stairs like everyone else), eat great food, laze around, the usual. Boo tells the camera that this living condition sure doesn't feel like a typical Survivor experience, concluding that this isn't "survival" as much as it is "thrival". Lisi hopes to the others that the Ravus will "drop like flies". Now, I happen to agree with the principle that one should be pleased at any disadvantage dished out on one's rivals in the game to win a million dollars, but... ouch. At least show some self-awareness about how this show deliberately cripples the opposing tribe and have the decency to at least pretend to feel bad about it because at the rate this show is going, a Ravu has to win this season or this season will have shot itself in the knees right from the conception of the ill-planned Boot Camp twist. I mean, if a Moto wins, what will everyone say? Heck, Burnetto has pretty much handed the Motos this season. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Over at Boot Camp, it still looks like mass famine is rampant and the Ravus will fulfil Lisi's prediction anytime now. Earl finally shows up later that morning, looking freshened up because at this point, being sent to Janu Island is the best thing that can ever happen to a Ravu. The other Ravus welcome him, hoping that he has somehow sneaked back the flint with him while he is hoping that the others have somehow started a fire in his absence. Mass disappointment settles in over Ravu on top of mass dehydration and hunger, alas. As the conversation once more turns to that fire that just refuses to start, Rita tells Earl that they are all waiting until the sun is higher in the sky before they try to get something started using the glasses.
That afternoon, Michelle is holding the glasses over their pile of twigs and various flammable junk. Damn it, why does it have to be Michelle? She grates on my nerves every time she opens her mouth to speak. "Dear Sun, Michelle would like you to come out and play today. Please participate in my game. Sincerely, Michelle," she says aloud as she waits for the sun to come play with her. Gross. To the camera, she says, "I started to pray because I know my mama doesn't want me to die out here." So far there is nothing particularly offensive about her but sheesh, that voice of hers! I'm so petty, I know, but I am hoping that she gets booted soon. Next thing I know, something catches fire in that pile. Michelle stupidly picks up that piece of cloth that is slightly burning and runs off to look for Anthony, because heaven helps a mere weak woman who tries to do something on her own. She's lucky that the small fire doesn't sputter out during her run. The men take over the fire-starting because this is the time for the big boys to shine and finally they have a decent fire going. I wonder whether this fire, like the pineapple, is a "gift" from Burnetto as he realizes just how badly his season is tanking. How many people do you think have been fired by Burnetto after the season had wrapped up? At any rate, the Ravus are thrilled and Rocky tells the camera that the fire is exactly the "shot in the ass" that the tribe needs. That sounds kinky, something right up his territory, no doubt. Rocky adds that he would hate to be on the other tribe because Ravu is so "fired up, it's ridiculous". Nice if predictable play of words there, but fire alone isn't going to win Ravu anything, I tell you.
Reward Challenge time. Jeff "My Camp Paradiso Is Better Than Moto's" Proboscis welcomes the two tribes by the beach and points out to Moto that Ravu has ditched Erica. Of course, the Motos don't care. Probby initiates some chatter with the Ravus on the mistaken belief that the whole Camp Paradiso/Boot Camp twist is actually riveting. Rocky brings up the fire and gives Michelle all the credit for doing so. Not to be mean or anything, but I must say that Michelle was more lucky than skilled in that particular situation. Still, it's great for her that she now can lay claim to an achievement that the tribe will be grateful for. Rocky is happy that the Ravus have water. Probby is impressed that these people manage to start a fire without a flint. If that isn't a sign of how low this show has sunk into that we actually go "Wow!" over someone actually starting a fire without a flint on a show called Survivor, I don't know what is. At any rate, Probby decides to hand the flint over to the Ravus because they already have a fire started. I know, the logic behind this doesn't make much sense, but this show is trying to all it can to repair the damage done by the stupid Camp Paradiso/Boot Camp twist, so expect more little "twists" that favors Ravu to show up in the near future.
In this Challenge, a tribe member will go against a member of the opposite tribe in moving down a slippery slide which and grabbing a numbered ball along the way. The ball must be tossed into a basket that's like a basketball hoop after the person has made it to the bottom of the slide. Each ball is worth one point. The tribe that gets six points first wins this Challenge. Probby unveils the prize: the tribe can choose either tribe members' luxury items (there's actually a stuffed turtle - Michelle's, no doubt), more fishing gear, or a big bowl of fruits. Since the Motos have already what seems like six hundred sets of fishing gear compliments of this show, clearly the prize is meant for the Ravus, as if Burnetto is the only person left in the world who believes that the Ravus can win.
Probby gives the word to go and first up is Anthony versus Gary. There are much stumbling for both men but Gary manages to beat Anthony to the punch here. Gary takes a fall during the Challenge, which usually won't mean much but this becomes important later on in this instance. Rita is up against Cassandra next and while Cassandra puts on a valiant show for MILF lovers everywhere as she struggles for balance, Rita ends up scoring a point first for Ravu. Boo versus Rocky next. Boo is clearly better at this that Rocky as he soon gets into the groove and doesn't slow down once he's on the move, so Boo gets another point for Moto. Michelle versus Stacy - I still can't tell these two apart, so I'm only grateful that they are on separate tribes - and Stacy scores this one for Moto. Mookie and Alex go head to head and Mookie adds another point to Ravu. It's 3 for Moto to 2 for Ravu at this point. Next, Sylvia goes up against Liliana and here Sylvia really embarrasses herself by trying to "swim" on her stomach for a while on the slide only to go nowhere. I have a good laugh at poor Sylvia's expense as she flops around on the slide with her arms waving wildly even as the poor dear is stuck on that same spot in the slide. Liliana gets another point for Moto. Earl and Edgardo face off next and both men are doing pretty well on the slippery slide but Edgardo gets this point for Moto. Yau-Man and Dreamz now and Lisi cackles here because she finds such a pairing funny. I find it funny as well. It will be great if Yau-Man beats Dreamz in doing a slam dunk with the ball but unfortunately while Yau-Man gets the ball first he keeps missing the basket. Dreamz catches up with him and beats him to the punch. So Moto has six points now and therefore they have more of everything while Ravu has nothing but another defeat.
Moto picks the fishing gear - maybe in case Boo breaks those they already have - and sends Sylvia to Janu Island. So with that, Sylvia departs for Janu Island and the others are sent back to camp.
Janu Island. Sylvia makes her way to the tower and discovers the third clue to Wally the Hidden Immunity Idol. She tells the camera that she's spent a lot of time away from the Ravus. Which, I suspect, isn't something that she minds too much since they're going to boot her anyway, next time if not this time. The third clue pretty much tells her that Wally is buried at the entrance of their cave, but she's to do this at night only after the others are asleep. Judging from the timing of Janu Island where Sylvia is not exempted from the next Tribal Council, this means she has no chance of getting any "tonight" to dig up Wally. Sylvia pretty much says this in her confessional - she believes she knows where Wally is but she doesn't think she'll have the opportunity to look for it.
Camp Paradiso. The Motos return, all pleased as punch, and Dreamz talks about how he loves seeing people fall down during that Challenge. He's talking about Gary, which makes this confessional distasteful, but not as bad as the rest of Motos laughing over Gary who looks like he's currently in pain. Cassandra approaches Gary to see whether the old coot is alright. Gary tells her that he can't breathe and the tribes try to look concerned and he suspects out loud that perhaps he has broken a ribcage.
The medics show up and as they examine Gary, he tells them that he feels as if he has a knife in his chest and he also doesn't remember his name. Cassandra tells the camera tearfully that Gary clearly has a passion about this show because he's already old and therefore cannot have "regular passions", whatever that means. Poor Gary is scared, she explains, and the man doesn't want to die on the show. Seriously now, I think nobody wants to die on this show. Meanwhile, Alex bets with Stacy that Gary has broken a rib. Alex is a doctor, don't you know, who's pretending to be a lawyer. At any rate, the doctor tells Gary that there is nothing to be worried about and gives him some painkillers. I don't know, I'll be worried if I'm Gary. I mean, didn't the last doctor on this show doubled as a drug dealer, was a junkie himself, and left his wife for Dolly, that contestant in Vanuatu? The doctors on this show aren't exactly Doogie Howser, MD. Alex tells the camera that for now, Gary will take things easy. If he still can't breathe the next day, they will boot him without hesitation. I mean, he says that Gary should get his pain "taken care of". Alex tells Gary to take things easy and don't try too hard to be a hero. To the camera, he hopes that Gary will be okay.
Day eight, morning, Camp Paradiso. Stacy returns with tree-mail. The terrible poetry of the day mentions a "true test of will" which leads one woman to conclude that it will be a physical challenge. Alex corrects this person by saying that the clue did say that it is some kind of "test of will". Lisi babbles something about how you're never going to know what to expect on this show, which is something that I'd expect the show to make her say. Gary continues to sit alone in the shelter, clearly not well still, and Alex tells the camera that Gary should leave if he'll bring the Motos down with his ill health. Isn't it great that both tribes on this show are acting like asses? I don't have to root for anybody on this show, isn't that great?
Probby awaits the tribe at the clearing by the beach and once the two tribes have filed in, brings in Sylvia to rejoin the Ravus who clearly doesn't want her back. Probby then reveals that this Immunity Challenge involves eating "gross food", although as we shall soon see, it looks like Burnetto has just ordered the food from the sushi bar downtown. Ravu is happy because finally they get to eat, the poor dears. They actually think they will win, how sad. Probby explains that each tribe member will square off against a member of the other tribe and the success in eating a course earns the tribe one point. The tribe that scores four points first wins Skeletor's magic wand.
First off, giant clams. Rocky is pleased because, as we have seen, he sure loves eating clams straight off the ground. He squares off against Liliana. While Liliana claims that she's finished eating first, Probby asks her to open her mouth and spots some clam flesh stuck in her teeth. Rocky ends up winning a point for Ravu. As Liliana takes her seat back among her tribes, she pulls out a long piece of clam flesh out of her throat which is most icky to see. Poor Liliana, the first time she gets any screentime is the first time people get to see her icky eating habit. Next round, octopus. Sylvia tries to eat as fast as she can, which isn't very fast, or as fast as her competitor Dreamz so Dreamz takes this round. Mookie and Lisi square off over "peanut worms". Lisi starts to choke soon after she tries to bite on her worm, causing Mookie to wave his worm at her. I mean, the worm he's supposed to eat and not his... uh, never mind. Mookie takes this one.
Probby points out that the Motos, especially Boo, aren't pleased with Mookie taunting Lisi like that, and here Rocky comes in to defend his friend, saying that the Motos aren't above taunting the Ravus as well. Which is true, if I consider the Motos' loud showboating "We've won!" celebration after each victory some kind of taunt. Rocky adds, "You vote off two people and see how you feel, bro!" I can see where Rocky is coming from, because honestly, I can understand the resentment harbored by the Ravus towards the Motos who had to live under pleasant conditions compared to the Ravus. Boo acts so offended but come on, he's the one living in Camp Paradiso laughing with the others about the Ravus dropping like flies so he can freaking well be quiet and stop acting so self-righteous. Of course, this doesn't mean Mookie is being particularly polite or nice when he's taunting Lisi, but this is a competition and that kind of taunting is pretty harmless so it's no big deal if you ask me.
The Challenge resumes with Earl and Alex eating sea cucumbers. At the rate we are going, the "gross food" really comes off like food you can obtain from a sushi bar. Alex wins this one and Earl says that he just cannot eat sea cucumber without water. Michelle and Edgardo duke it out over fish eyes and Edgardo wins this one. Anthony is the only one standing between Moto and yet another victory when he and Gary duke it out over hairy pig snout. Anthony merely puts it in his mouth and chews, or pretends to chew, because the moment Gary is done he quickly removes his pig snout from his mouth. Meanwhile, the Motos cheer Gary on with chants of "Papa Smurf!" which makes me cringe as much as I do when Michelle is speaking. At any rate, the Motos have won yet again and someone is leaving Ravu tonight at Tribal Council.
Which, of course, means that Sylvia has no chance of waiting until everyone is asleep to dig up Wally, as I've predicted earlier. Good going there, Burnetto. This season is one well-planned twist after another! Once the Ravus have returned to Boot Camp, Sylvia tries to make some peace with the Ravus by apologizing to them about her performance in the Reward Challenge, but she ends up offering them a sword to impale her on, so to speak, by giving them a chance to blame her even more for their loss. Rita tries to tell Sylvia that she did the best she could but even Rita doesn't believe that. Sylvia tells the camera that it's either finding Wally or getting the boot.
Meanwhile, Anthony and Yau-Man discuss the possibility of Sylvia having Wally and decide that she doesn't have it. Heh, we have here two weak links hoping that the weakest link doesn't have Wally and therefore take the heat of them for another day. Anthony tells the camera, even as Sylvia decides to start looking for Wally in bright daylight, that if Sylvia has Wally, things will get "interesting" during Tribal Council. Rocky tells Rita later that day that the plan is to give Sylvia the most votes and Anthony the next highest number of votes in case Sylvia has Wally. Rita is pleased with that plan, telling Rocky when he asks her about Anthony that Anthony, like Erica, is unpredictable. In short, once Sylvia is gone, Anthony is the designated replacement scapegoat for all that is evil in Ravu Land. Rocky says to Rita that Anthony is "whiny". Unless the show is not showing me things, I don't believe I've seen Anthony whining. Rocky whines even more than Anthony on this show! However, Rita tells the camera that she doesn't want to vote for either Anthony or Sylvia so she intends to do something "different". Of course, she's only one person so it doesn't matter what she does.
However, Mookie is talking privately to Earl, pushing really hard for Anthony's boot because he believes that Anthony is some kind of wimp for failing to win his round during the Immunity Challenge. Earl also lost his round, perhaps Mookie has forgotten, so Earl isn't the best person to use this argument on. Earl is not really giving an answer to Mookie, just short responses that can go either way, not that Mookie seems to notice. Mookie and Michelle later tell Sylvia that Anthony must go and of course Sylvia agrees, not that she has any other option. Sylvia of course tells the camera that she's not convinced one bit that Anthony will go in her place so she's digging right out there in the open for Wally, not caring whether people are watching her or not. It's do or die for Sylvia.
Night, Tribal Council. Oh, this is pointless. More talk about performances during Challenges, in which Mookie goes for Anthony while claiming that it's nothing personal. There's nothing said that this episode hasn't revealed so far. Probby then sends them off to vote. Sylvia votes for Anthony, of course, along with Mookie and Rocky. However, Rita votes for Earl because, according to the Insider segment on the official website, she cannot in good conscience vote for either Anthony or Sylvia. I guess that she likes having a target on her back. Yau-Man, Earl, Michelle, and Anthony vote for Sylvia and it's enough to send Sylvia home.
I like Sylvia and so far she's the most interesting person on this show so... ouch. The poor dear has no time to join a tribe and no time to look for Wally so I guess this makes Sylvia the contestant screwed most royally by game logistics. Great job, Burnetto, in systematically driving this season straight into the ground. He's probably right now sweating buckets trying to salvage the rest of this season. Good luck in trying to do that with the bunch of idiots populating this season!
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