Previously, another sixteen losers showed up to grace this show for yet another season, and it was pretty much more of the same as we had people bickering over shelters, leadership, and other usual popular issues on this show. Likewise, someone got sick, someone was bossy, and it rained often as everyone waited for Probby to hand them their flint. But there were some good-looking male flesh on display so it's all good.

Morning, day four, Zhan Hu. It is raining again and the miserable Zhannies stand in the rain as Dave lectures them about how the fire has to be done right the first time or it will go out soon enough. They are discussing how to crate a fire pit, it turns out. As Dave in his trenchcoat thingie and Inspector Gadget hat looks utterly ridiculous mumbling away his instructions in staccato monotony, he tells the camera that he doesn't want to be a leader but alas, he has to embrace his inner leadership because he apparently can't help himself. Translation: he's a control freak. How on earth does a bartender and ex-model turn into such a control freak anyway? Is he an ex-model because he made the mistake of giving orders to the photographer instead of listening to the fellow? By the way, he is shirtless in his confessional and I must confess that I am perplexed by how such a rather well-formed man of his years can have such saggy manboobs. He must have really big manboobs when he was younger.

Dave's so altruistic embrace of his inner leader leads him to clash with Peih-Gee and Erik over the location of the fire pit and he's pretty much hey, how dare these people waste time arguing with him when they could be doing so many wonderful things by following his orders unquestioningly. Nobody among the other Zhanies look too thrilled to be listening to him, although to be fair they could be miserable due to the rain as much as they don't like Dave coming to their rescue. Peih-Gee wonders aloud in disbelief that Dave actually behaves as if everyone is competing with him to be the leader. What happened to democracy, people?

As Peih-Gee and Dave argue in their so preciously passive-aggressively about who have the bigger brass in the tribe, Erik... hey, is it just me or this guy looks oh so delicious when he's soaking wet? I hope he is a musician who plays in the nude in one of those swanky clubs I keep hearing about so that I can pay those clubs a visit. At any rate, Erik glances at Dave with this deliciously moody expression, as if he's thinking of shoving a guitar down Dave's throat.

And yet, when he opens his mouth in his confessional, once again I am reminded of the words of the wise when it comes to pretty, pretty men: don't ruin the moment with words, honey. Erik mumbles that Peih-Gee is "just below" Dave when it comes to the power hierarchy of the tribe and adds that Peih-Gee is the "balance of power", whatever that means. I suspect that he's trying to say something that is completely different from what he actually ended up saying. As Peih-Gee tells Dave quite reasonably that they need to work out some kind of "gameplan" before they rush into doing things that they have no clear idea of, Erik continues to say to the camera that Peih-Gee often has some good ideas but Dave doesn't like listening to other people's opinions. Indeed, as Jaime pipes up that maybe it's a good idea if they eat breakfast first before they work, Dave all but rolls up his eyes at her as he gets this "Oh my god, the imbeciles dare to speak to me!" expression on his face. As Dave gives Jaime a patronizing response about why only his idea is the best and Jaime actually rolls up her eyes in response, Erik tells the camera that the other Zhanies are starting to think that Dave isn't such a good leader anymore.

Back at camp, Dave tells the others that they have a lot of work to do starting from that moment. Heh, beautifully done, editors, just when I am starting to think that those fellows have lost their touch.

Fei Long. Oh my, the camera zooms in on James as if the camera is trying to peek up his shorts and I heartily approve of such spectacular cinematography work. Give these people an Emmy! Like Superman, he is pushing down bamboo plants to the ground. That shot of Aaron in those bulging dark blue boxer briefs isn't bad either. Everyone is working... and then there is Jean-Robert snoring loudly away at one corner on what seems like the floor of the half-finished shelter. Everyone looks at each other as his snores reach a decibel level more common among ancient elephants. Courtney does a lovely impersonation of his snores as she makes fun of him in her confessional. She says that Jean-Robert either sleeps all day or, when he's awake, complains that he's so tired. She presses the back of her lower arm dramatically against her forehead here, heh. I hope she stays a long time on this show because her confessionals are pure gold. The show then cuts to a yawning monkey - again, beautifully done, dear editors.

Some scheming follows as Amanda and Todd find some quiet time to talk. She tells him that they need to keep the strongest people with them until the merge. Does this mean that she wants to volunteer to get booted? She doesn't look like a heavyweight. Todd tells her that he'll stick with her and she agrees, saying to him that in this game one needs to have an ally. She may as well add, "... And it may as well be you!" That's how enthusiastic these two come off in their declarations of mutual alliance. To the camera, she says that Todd is devious and she has been watching him, but she think she'll stick with him until at the very least the merge.

Amanda also tells Todd that she likes how they are both deliberately doing what Aaron tells them to because because they know they can curry Aaron's affections in this manner. Apparently Aaron likes it when people follow his orders, you see. And I tell you, the camera that shows Aaron walking out of the woods with some bamboos on his shoulders and I tell you, I could happily kiss that fellow who supplied those tight blue shorts to Aaron. You can see... things... on the front. Todd and Amanda end up deciding, as she explains to the camera, to bring Aaron into their alliance so that they can happily shift whatever nastiness that may result in their scheming onto that pretty boy's impressive shoulders and let him drown.

So the two then approach Aaron when I notice that Todd is wearing the same kind of tight blue shorts that reveal everything as Aaron. I can see... things... too where Todd is concerned. It looks like the show people are the ones making these guys wear those revealing snug underwear. Is this a desperate ratings ploy? I approve heartily. For the sake of comparison, you cannot see anything when Aaron turns his side to the camera - I suppose it is cold - but Todd looks like he's a happier man than Aaron. At any rate, once Todd offers Aaron an alliance with him and Amanda, Aaron looks around to see whether anyone is around eavesdropping on the three. Shouldn't he do this before he talks to them? Hmm. Seeing no one around, he agrees to join their alliance. They shake hands on a final three agreement. How adorable, they actually think such an alliance formed on the fourth day will work out until the end.

Todd tells the camera that the game is in the hands of Amanda and him because an alliance with Aaron is exactly what he has come here to do. Good for him, I suppose.

Next, Aaron gathers the other Longies around for a round table discussion on team work and camp work. He tells them that they need to "get into a routine" and Jean-Robert demonstrates his ability to read the room by announcing that they should all "take a rest". Leslie buries her face in her hand while Courtney shakes her head to herself. Here, Aaron tells Jean-Robert upfront that the man has not been "pulling his weight" around camp. Aaron is trying his best to be nice as he tells Jean-Robert that he's not trying to tell the man whether he is wrong or right, he's just suggesting that Jean-Robert should help them out more often. Jean-Robert once again demonstrates his ample people skills by saying that he's just acting like a sloth that has no idea how he ended up in China instead of South America because he has no food and water. He adds that he will be more useful when he gets more food and water. He conveniently pretends that the others are in the same boat as he is, if you haven't noticed.

Leslie tells the camera that Jean-Robert is on the chopping block and nobody is buying his crap. As Jean-Robert starts babbling about how he can apparently do "stuff" with his "mind", whatever that means, James snickers at someone off-camera. Oh yes, he's not too impressed with Jean-Robert's amazing mind either. As he babbles to the increasingly exasperated Longies, he tells the camera that he is "a bad boy in poker". I don't think he is aware that when people call him a "bad boy", they may be doing it literally, as in he needs a spanking. He adds that his strategy is to slack off so that when he gets food and water, he'll be a dynamo and other people will be so impressed with him that they will want to keep him around. I hope he's joking. He's joking, right? Right?

Zhan Hu. Everyone is working, just the way Dave likes it as he prattles to the camera about achievable goals and other jargons he has memorized in anticipation of his future career as a smarmy salesman once he gets too old and washed-up for LA. Since they already have flint thanks to Probby in the last Tribal Council, he says that their priority is to get a fire going. As Peih-Gee, Sherea, and Jaime end up grouped together as they bring rocks back to camp, Jaime says to them that they will be working so much better if they have eaten first. She tells Dave this but he dismisses her even before she has completed her sentence, saying that they need to get a fire started. Jaime tells the camera that they could have started a small fire first and eat something before they resume working but no, they are all too busy working on what she calls Dave's "elaborate barbecue pit". Back at camp, Dave lifts a heavy rock to add to his barbecue pit. In what could have been a deliberate or an accidental gesture depending on whose camp you're on - since I dislike Dave I naturally believe that it's deliberate - he slowly drops the rock on a muddy hole and causes mud to splash on Frosti and Jaime who are working nearby. He drawls that he is so sorry for that accident and Jaime laughs good-naturedly.

However, while she washes herself as best as she can later - and boy, she is really covered with mud - she bitches to Sherea and Ashley that she thinks that Dave deliberately splashed her with mud. Sherea agrees with Jaime that they will be better off eating before they work. Ashley tells the camera that she is starving and she also can't believe that they haven't started a fire despite the fact that they have a flint in their possession since the night before. She feels that they are taking an unnecessarily long route to get from one point to another and naturally she is not pleased. I'm stunned by the fact that Dave is making his slaves work while they are hungry. Does this man know anything at all about leadership? The fact that he is foolishly on what is clearly a power trip says a lot about his gameplay. Ashley concludes that she is "losing faith" in Dave "rapidly". I'd be very interested to know why she has faith in him in the first place.

What happens next is Dave and Ashley sniping at each other in their most charming manner with Ashley passive-aggressively taking swipes at his plans to make the grandest barbecue pit in the history of this show and he taking shots by calling her terms of endearment like "sweety" in the same tone that he reserves for terms like "bitch". To be fair to Dave, he is probably annoyed because Ashley rips into him when she and the other women are lying on their backs while he alone is working at that moment. This could be a "Who are you to tell me that I'm wasting my time or not doing things properly when you're on your back lazing away?" moment. But to be equally fair to Ashley, Dave is being a most annoying prick. To the camera, Dave says that he can give a good fight where Ashley is concerned. Of that, I have no doubt, but I tell you, this fellow has completely lost the plot where the game is concerned. He's on a power trip and he's nuts.

The editing suggests that Ashley and Dave continue to snipe at each other back and forth the entire day. The other Zhanies wisely keep quiet and stay out of their way. At the same time, it is noteworthy that while these two are taking shots at each other, Dave is constantly on the move, carrying this or lifting that, while Ashley is always seen standing there and snapping at Dave but doing nothing else. This explains a lot why the others will eventually decide that as much as Dave is annoying them to no end, they feel that he is more useful to have around the place than Ashley.

Circus music plays as it's now time for the Reward Challenge. Probby calls out that it's time to "get dirty" as the two tribes file in into this muddy clearing. After pointing out to the Longies that Chicken is gone from Zhan Hu and some of the Longies act like they are too stunned for words, Probby explains how this Challenge will be run. There is a dual slide-like construction at one side of the clearing. Probby will pull a lever to cause two giant balls (one for each tribe, differentiated by color) to slide down onto the muddy ground. The tribe members will then push the ball over their designated soccer goal post-like finish line. The fun here is that you also have to stop the other tribe will making your own way to the goal. The first tribe to score two goals in this manner will win a set of fishing gear and a fishing boat. There will also be a twist that will be revealed after the Challenge, Probby says. Please don't tell me Janu Island is back. I'm still scarred from all the horrifically bad ideas that showed up in the previous season.

Fei Long has one extra male so James pretty much declares with a point of his hand that Todd, the smallest guy (although the sight of him in those blue shorts will tell you otherwise, Aaron) will sit out this time. Todd is like, "Uh... me? But... uh, okay."

It begins to rain as Probby announces the first round. Aaron, Amanda, and Denise will square off against Sherea, Erik, and Jaime. This is another hard to recap challenge because it's all squirming muddy bodies and pieces of clothing falling off as a chaotic entanglement of body limbs occurs. My favorite moment is when Jaime furiously pulls off one of Denise's sneakers and flings it hard without caring to see where it lands. My fervent hope that it hits Probby in the face doesn't come true though, alas. The stand down ends up taking place between Amanda and Sherea on one ball and Erik, Jaime, Denise, and Aaron on the other ball. I adore Courtney who stands by the sideline with a most precious "I can't believe I'm watching this!" flabbergasted expression on her face. However, when the now-topless Amanda spots how close the Fei Long ball is to the goal post and how Erik, Aaron, Jaime, and Denise are in a tangled pile unable to move, she abandons Sherea and runs to push the Fei Long pass the finish line. Score one for Fei Long! Poor Amanda adjusts her top, which has fallen off thanks to Sherea, as she says with a laugh that her mother is going to kill her for showing off her kittens on TV. Don't worry, dear, everything is blurred out on TV.

Next round, it's the trio of Jean-Robert, James, and Leslie going against the trio of Frosti, Ashley, and Dave. Dave, Frosti, and Ashley are already slathering themselves with mud, no doubt hoping to make it harder for the Longies to get a hold of them. I don't know why these people don't pull a Richard Hatch and just as well get naked so that they can play without being slowed down by other people grabbing their shorts or tops. Those clothes, the tops especially, will fall off eventually. Maybe the rules now state that they can't do this in order to prevent another Sue Hawk incident. Dave, I notice, is wearing his buff like a necklace around his neck. The better for other people to grab it and hopefully choke him, I suppose. This one is over from the moment everything boils down to Ashley and Frosti, two small people, to deal with Jean-Robert and James, two big fellows, as these big fellows forcefully work together to roll the Fei Long ball to their goal post. You can imagine how well Frosti and Ashley fare, I'm sure. James easily roll the Fei Long ball for another goal and it's all over for Zhan Hu. Fei Long wins the Challenge! I bet Courtney is hollering and jumping up and down in joy because she does not have to get dirty as much as the tribe has won, heh.

Probby now reveals the twist to the two tribes. Fei Long can now "kidnap" a Zhan Hu who will then stay with the tribe until the Immunity Challenge. Aaron, after a quick discussion with the other Longies, announces that tribe picks Jaime. This leads to another twist of sorts as Probby now passes Jaime a sealed tube marked "Open in private". No doubt the message inside is Very Important but garbled up in beautifully bad poetry. Jaime takes the tube and joins Fei Long who welcome her with tentative hugs and Probby then dismisses the two tribes and sends them on their separate ways.

Back at Zhan Hu, it turns out that the rain has turned their camp site in what Ashley describes as a disaster area. The camera zooms in on a dead frog floating on the water. I wonder what the editors are trying to tell me. Frosti tells the camera that it is as if someone has decided to take every drop of water in every ocean in the world and transferred all that water to this camp. An exaggeration, of course, that. Dave however is proud that his barbecue pit is still "standing". Yes, that will cheer the others up. Dave tells the camera that clearly the fact that the pit is still there demonstrates that he has a "fine idea". Yes, they have no fire, but they have that pit. A fine idea indeed. Maybe they can all huddle and sleep in that barbecue pit the next time it rains.

Over at Fei Long, it turns out that the boat is just a small decrepit-looking canoe thing that looks like it's been bought used from some local. Aaron gives a bland confessional about being happy with the boat. I'm not exactly paying attention because he's still in those adorable blue shorts and he's sitting with his legs spread. He then babbles about Jaime being some sunshine in the tribe. I didn't know the tribe has been in the dark until now. He thinks that taking Jaime away from Zhan Hu will demoralize Zhan Hu or something. This guy is really bland and dull when he speaks. It's a good thing that he's not cast on this show to be the eloquent one.

However, Todd, Amanda, and Leslie later discuss among themselves that they have to watch Jaime carefully and "keep track of everything" in case Jaime starts to steal them blind when they are not watching. Todd reads about this in The Art Of War, you see, about how it's fine to steal from your opponents to cripple them, so it's not as if he's just babbling to be stupid or something like that. Leslie tells the camera that she wants Todd on her side because clearly he's a devious fellow. Oh, Leslie, that's not something that Jesus will approve. After introducing herself to Jean-Robert and then running off to be alone - I'm not sure if her running off to be alone has anything to do with meeting Jean-Robert though - she opens the tube she has been given. She explains to the camera that the tube contains another tube with a parchment rolled around it. This parchment has a message telling her that there is a Hidden Immunity Idol somewhere in the Fei Long camp and the sealed tube contains the first clue to its location. Jaime has to give the sealed tube to a Fei Long member of her choosing before she returns to her tribe. Oh, isn't this cute?

Later that day, the Longies have a fire started, thanks to, apparently, Aaron. Jean-Robert joins Jaime in resting on the shelter, saying aloud that he needs a break. Aaron says that Jean-Robert is always needing a break and Jean-Robert responds by saying that Aaron is very quick on to jump on his "ass". Todd and Amanda exchange amused looks as Aaron and Jean-Robert proceed to go back and forth in a monotonous and dispassionate manner about who is being right and who is being unfair. Courtney tells the camera in exasperation that they have a spy in the tribe (Jaime who from all appearances is asleep through the "argument") and yet those two men are airing their dirty laundry before her. Wait, Jaime is awake, no doubt because of Jean-Robert talking loudly next to her, and her eyes are opened a fraction. Courtney says to the camera that they could have all pretended to be one happy tribe before Jaime for a while and they can go back at ripping at each other's throat after she's gone. Jaime meanwhile tells the camera that she'll telling her tribe mates when she goes back to them that she doesn't understand why her tribe keeps losing the Challenges because she doesn't see anything particularly special about the Fei Long tribe. What, she hasn't noticed Aaron's magic blue shorts yet?

As evening approaches, Dave is telling his fellow Zhanies that they have to rebuild their shelter out of... bricks, I hear, although I have no idea how they will find these bricks or the cement they will need to hold the bricks together. Maybe there are enough bricks to go around in the place where Dave usually keeps his brain. Ashley and he start arguing as Sherea tells the camera that Dave is so condescending to everyone, especially to Ashley. She's not happy about Dave and she's sure that he is making other people annoyed as well. As Dave and Ashley keep going at it, the camera zooms in on Erik shaking his head before snapping a twig with a loud crack. Ooh, Erik is angry. Ashley gives an amusing melodramatic confessional where she calls Dave the most annoying person on the tribe because he's so "patronizing".

Day five, Fei Long. Morning sees Leslie wandering around looking lost and unhappy. She tells the camera that she has been sick and therefore miserable for the last few days. She cries to the camera that she wishes to read her Bible and spend some time with God. I hope she's not thinking that God makes her sick to punish her for not reading the Bible. At any rate, Leslie now goes on to say that God wants her here, which is why God compels her to apply to be on this show in the first place, so she's going to keep "fighting", presumably those bacteria and viruses that are trying to keep her from doing God's work on this show.

Jaime is up for the day. She explains to the camera that she's decided to give the sealed tube to the person she views as the weakest link in the tribe just to weaken the tribe. See, I like the way she thinks, although I also have a hard time believing that Leslie will actually locate the Hidden Immunity Idol. She takes Leslie away from the tribe in a pretense to collect twigs for the fire and hands the tube to Leslie after explaining to the woman what it is. Leslie tells the camera that the Lord has given her a "gift". I hope she's not calling Jaime a deity. Leslie opens the tube and discovers a parchment telling her, "What is thought to be hidden may sometimes be seen. Though their eyes are not, yours must be keen." Clearly, this means that thing is placed openly in plain sight. As Leslie blabs about wanting to find this thing, the camera zooms in on a square piece of ornament on the arch thing that marked their camp site. So that is the Hidden Immunity Idol? I wonder how Leslie is going to explain to her fellow tribe members should they catch her climbing up to retrieve it, heh.

Day six, still at Fei Long. Clearly having an unsuccessful previous day in locating you-know-what, which I'll call Waldo because it's easier to type than "Hidden Immunity Idol", Leslie explains to the camera that she believes that perhaps it's better to rope in an "ally" using the information she's been given by God. She wants a "witty" ally who can "think", so she decides to approach Todd whom she believes is witty. I think she must have confused "witty" with "treachery". She tells Todd about Waldo. Here, Jean-Robert interrupts them with a morning greeting only to slip on some wet ground, how cute. At any rate, Todd tells the camera how he can't believe that silly woman told him about Waldo, but hey, he's now cheering her on to be sick and get booted so that he's the only one privy to the existence of Waldo. "Fantastic!" he concludes to the camera. I agree.

Immunity Challenge time. "Good morning guys!" Probby hollers as the two tribes file in, and then adds in a lower tone, "Back for more punishment!" Oh, Probby, always trying to make the show all about him even if he's featured in it for what seems like ten minutes tops. Jaime returns to Zhan Hu and Chairman Mao is returned to Probby, so Probby now explains the Challenge. This time around, each tribe uses what Probby calls a "Chinese puzzle log" to smash their way through two walls to a designated platform where they have to use the various slots on the log to put... it's hard to explain in words, really. Let's just say that there are some metallic cuffing on the puzzle platform and you must roll and turn the log in some manner to put it through the platform (hence it being called a "puzzle log"). The tribe will then get the log through the platform and use the log to hit a gong. The first tribe to do this wins Chairman Mao, naturally.

This Challenge requires only six people on one tribe, so Zhan Hu sits out Jaime while Fei Long puts Courtney and Leslie on the sidelines. And with that, they are off.

The fun thing about this Challenge is that the paths of the two tribes intersect in the middle so there is a potential collision in the making. But that never happens as Zhan Hu spending all that time building Dave's various shrines to his greatness and not eating backfire on them beautifully as they begin to fall back after breaking down the first door. Heh, Dave looks like he's going to faint when the Zhanies start on the second door. Frosti has to take over from Dave who can barely stand at that point. It doesn't matter. Zhan Hu has lost too much time in breaking down the second door so Fei Long has this one in the bag and Zhan Hu has another date with Probby come Tribal Council that night. How sad, but at least they have the barbecue pit.

Zhan Hu. Dave announces that he takes full responsibility for the Challenge but of course he insists that they should not take the Challenge into account when it comes to determining who to boot. At any rate, he thinks that he won't be leaving, as he tells the camera. Ashley meanwhile knows that she's on the block but she thinks she'll wait until Tribal Council to make her statement. Does she believe that people actually listen to each other in the Tribal Council? Tribal Council is where people tell lies and sprout insincere platitudes, except when some moron decides to tell the truth and kills his or her own game (Brad from Cook Islands, honey, I'm looking at you).

But it seems that the general consensus among the other Zhanies, at least among Sherea, Erik, and Jaime, is that one of Dave and Ashley has to go since the two of them are making life around the camp unbearable. They are leaning towards Ashley because they believe that Dave is more useful to them. Despite the fact that it is Dave who collapsed during the recent Challenge, mind you. Jaime concludes as they all head off to Tribal Council that while Ashley is her friend, she thinks that it is "dead even" whether Dave or Ashley should go. Of course, she says that she doesn't know what she will do until the moment to vote arrives. They always say that, and it's always annoying.

Night, Tribal Council. Here, Dave really makes a fool of himself as he insists that he's not patronizing or condescending but proves that he is when he argues with his own tribe mates. But it doesn't matter as in the end, the other tribe mates unanimously believe that Dave is more useful than Ashley. As Jaime says, Dave often goes out of his way to prove his leadership, such as chopping down wood before the others are even awake, and as irritating as this fellow can be, he actually does something. Therefore, even as Ashley votes for "Derek Zoolander", everyone else sends her packing. She's not surprised, though. With a well-rehearsed parting shot at Dave ("I'll see you... soon!"), she takes her leave. I suspect that Dave will miss her the most of all the Zhanies, heh. At any rate, Probby sends the remaining Zhanies out of his sight and calls it a night.

In her final words, Ashley says correctly that her conflicts with Dave cost her the game. But she generally has no hard feelings for anyone apart from Dave, whom she calls most accurately a tool. Aww, I'll miss her.

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