Let me warn you in advance: this recap is going to be really heavy-handed and full of sermons that you may not appreciate given that I find this easily the most misogynistic episode on this show since Sue Hawk quit in the All-Stars season after being sexually harassed by Richard Hatch and Burnetto tried to spin that incident into something about Sue not "understanding" what a game is. This episode is no way as unpleasant as that one, of course, but it is rather contradictory, if you ask me, that Burnetto mocked Sue for not being able to understand the "game" but in this episode Jaime is being ridiculed for doing nothing other than to play the "game". Oh, and trying to sabotage Probby's designated mancrush of the season, James.

Night eighteen, Fei Long. The Longies are decompressing after the Tribal Council where they gave Sherea the boot, and Jean-Robert decides to start playing the wounded soul who felt that he was wrongly accused of all kinds of things during the Tribal Council. This is aimed mostly at Courtney since she did lay it on that fellow, particular with that adorable line asking Jean-Robert whether he thought he was Luke Perry. Amanda decides to toss Courtney to the wolves by telling Jean-Robert that the problem is between him and Courtney. Amanda doesn't mind Jean-Robert at all! I hope he sees this as an invitation to sleep beside her every night from now on. Likewise, Todd chimes up that he thinks that Jean-Robert has displayed a side of him during Tribal Council that made him more endearing to Todd now. Todd tells the camera that Jean-Robert and Courtney are having a "tiff" and those two should resolve that among themselves. This is... unexpected, to say the least, coming from the same guy who announced dramatically that he was on Courtney's side and would take out the "trash" James and Jean-Robert come what may. Well, I am starting to believe that this guy is all hot air anyway, so he's not doing much to prove me wrong.

Courtney, on her part, gives her typical oh-so-endearingly cynical confessional where she says, complete with air finger quotes, that she knows now who her "friends" are in the tribe. Jean-Robert, of course, is not her friend. She also doesn't think highly of Amanda and Todd who would suck up to Jean-Robert. In fact, judging from how she uses the finger quote gestures when she mentions the names of those two, I suspect that she is even starting to doubt whether those are their real names. I can see where she is coming from, although a part of me also thinks that she can't expect too much from Amanda and Todd given that they are looking out for themselves - as they should be - in this game. Courtney also says that she hopes Todd and Amanda don't think that she considers them her friends because she merely dislikes them the least on the tribe. I think that's something she's saying just to placate her own wounded feelings, hmm. At any rate, I like Courtney but I don't think she's cut out for this game. She's really not good at pretending, which is saying something considering how many of the losers this season cannot keep straight faces when they are scheming.

Once the credits are out of the way, it's day nineteen on Zhan Hu. Peih-Gee meets up with James as the tribe get ready for the day. No doubt realizing that her plan to reform Zhan Hu come the merge is not going to happen, Peih-Gee tries to tell James that she hopes that James now knows to trust them. She's trying to get him to think that they booted Aaron over James because they love him more, I think. James naturally doesn't buy her story. Peih-Gee prattles on about how she, Erik, and Jaime are loyal people and James pretty much snorts as he corrects her and says that those three are loyal to each other. Peih-Gee tries to tell James that she likes James and she is willing to sacrifice an original Zhan Hu to keep him after the merge. James isn't that foolish to believe her, although he may if this is Todd instead of Peih-Gee feeding him the BS, heh. Peih-Gee tells the camera that her instinct tells her to trust James. Get it right, folks, it's instinct and not desperation forcing Peih-Gee's hand now.

As James oh-so-casually reaches up and grabs what he thinks is Waldo that is located at the Zhan Hu arch, the other three Zhanies bask in the lake. James realizes that the ornament he has in his hands (he's tall enough to just reach up and take it down) is not the one he seeks because it doesn't have the proper inscription at its back. So he grabs another ornament, which turns out to be the correct one. Rather stupidly, James leaves the dummy ornament on the ground when he could have easily reattach it back onto the arch. I suppose you can argue that he is too excited about having the second Waldo, but really now, that is stupid.

Fei Long. Frosti. is now cozy with Jean-Robert, it seems, as those two are fishing together. Back at camp, Todd complains to Amanda about what a dour mood Courtney is in today. Courtney comes up to them and repeats her unhappiness about how Amanda and Todd are keeping Jean-Robert when they both know how she dislikes him. Todd insists that he needs Jean-Robert in the game. If that is the case, you'd think the genius here would have given Jean-Robert instead of James the two Waldos, no? Todd also tells Courtney that they can't show Jean-Robert that they really don't like him. To the camera, Todd gives a truly befuddling yet irritating lecture to the camera about how Courtney is supposed to be quiet because Todd wants Jean-Robert in the game, as if she's not allowed to do anything that he doesn't approve beforehand. Todd also calls Courtney "bitch" and he's not saying this in a joking manner, mind you. He's mad about Courtney.

Back at Zhan Hu, James decides to go into the water, maybe to talk to the fish or something, leaving Jaime and Erik to notice the carelessly discarded ornament on the ground. Erik, squinting adorably at it, tells the camera that for all he knows, this could easily be Waldo. Jaime and Erik naturally decide to keep that thing. The show uses funny music to make me think that these two are so stupid, although if you think of it, it is even more stupid not to grasp the significance of the discarded ornament, no? Jaime, who is stupid as this episode will insist again and again, tells the camera that she can't read Chinese but for all she knows, the writing on the ornament could be "Immunity Idol".

That night, Jaime decides to look through James' possessions where she spots the two Waldos James don't even bother to hide well enough among his things. She tells Erik this and they wonder why James left one out in the open. They obviously overestimate James' intelligence here if they are overthinking about how he may have some kind of trick up his sleeves. James is not that smart.

Day twenty, Zhan Hu. James wanders around the camp when he notices that the ornament he left on the ground is missing. He tells the camera that he didn't bother to hide the ornament - how smart - and now he's tickled because it will be so stupid for anyone to imagine that the thing is Waldo since there is no "Waldo" written on it! Ugh, someone please tell James that hindsight is everything and I doubt he will figure out the Waldos if Todd didn't spoonfeed him how to find the one at Zhan Hu. It is so easy to gloat when James is given the information, no? James then giggles most unpleasantly because he thinks it will be so funny if Jaime uses the wrong Waldo at Tribal Council. Yes, it will be funny, if the show doesn't try so hard to make the incident more funny than it actually is by pretending that Jaime is more stupid than she really is.

Well, it's now time for the... um, Challenge as Probby waits for the two tribes to file into the clearing. Wait, it's not a Challenge yet, since it's now time for the merge! Probby just says that the tribe members have to drop their buffs, so this is one anticlimatic merge. Perhaps because the show does not want to remind me that Peih-Gee and Jaime were right in assuming that they would merge at ten.

You see, that's what really annoys me about this show and Probby's obvious hard-on for James. Peih-Gee and Jaime took a calculated and sensible gamble that would have paid off if their plan worked and they managed to lose Aaron and James in the last two Tribal Councils. They deduced that Sherea and Frosti would be booted should Fei Long ended up at Tribal Council, and they were right when Sherea was booted in the previous Tribal Council. So, this means that the two ladies made a gamble based on assumptions that we know now are valid and true. Yes, so the plan didn't go as planned, but at least they tried. They didn't gain anything, but you know what? They didn't lose anything either. They lost Aaron, who intended all along to get back with the original Fei Long after the merge. Therefore, for Probby to act like these two ladies are dumbasses for throwing a Challenge... God. It's so obvious that fifteen seasons of not seeing his darling man-crushes win even once has driven him insane.

As the Survivors try to pretend that they are happy to be one big family, Jaime tells the camera that she is so happy that she has Waldo. Post-show interviews and Insider clips show that this confessional is taken out of context, but hey, that's just on par with the agenda of this episode to demonstrate that Jaime is stupid. Probby hands out black buffs and tells them all to head back to the Fei Long. He also says something - okay, a lot about The Art Of War, but he's officially senile starting from this season so I don't care what he says anymore. Stupid Probby.

As usual, the Survivors get to attend a feast to celebrate the merge, accompanied by a "cultural performance" that amounts to nothing more than a costumed amateur hour performed by underpaid locals who can't wait to get out of the place. Courtney and Jean-Robert give happy and pointless confessionals about the whole thing as everyone drinks, eats, and watch some ten-cent version of Cirque du Soleil. Amanda tells the camera that it's all about the original Fei Long versus the original Zhan Hu now. So, that means Peih-Gee and Jaime are right again. Sound the stupid music, editors, because I'm starting to forget that I am supposed to think of these women as dumb! So what if everything they predicted will happen has happened? Pretty girls who throw Challenges are dumb! It's the law!

I hate this episode. It pains me to recap this episode. It sucks so much because it insults my intelligence. Is this episode edited by Todd and James with lots of help from Scout? That will explain the huge magnitude of suck-assery that is this episode. But enough about me.

The Survivors have to figure out a name for their tribe. "Angry Monkey" is quickly rejected, bummer, because it makes my life easier if I can just call them all monkeys. Since their buffs are black in color, it seems logical that they come up with a name using that color. Jean-Robert "jokes" that James won't like it if the tribe name uses the word "black". Frosti, so eager to be part of the gang, points out that he and Peih-Gee were in the "yellow" tribe. Unfortunately, the name of the merged tribe turns out to be something that is much more mundane, "Hae Da Fung". That means "Black Fighting Wind". I wonder whether these people are aware of how scatological that name is. When he first hears the name, my husband starts singing, "Everyone was kung-fu farting!" As everyone continues to feign camaraderie with everyone else, Peih-Gee correctly points out the numbers to the camera and says that she is in trouble if she can't get James and Frosti to swing over to her side.

Look, someone is coming over in a boat. It's Probby, but hilariously enough, the Fungi either don't recognize him or don't bother to give Probby the ceremonial welcome he feels that he deserves until he actually starts to demand that they treat him the way he thinks he should be treated. Oh, Probby. Even these people don't give a damn about him now, heh. Probby asks, and he gets... a weak smattering of applause. Heh, that has to really make him steam inside, I'd bet. Probby says that he has brought something with him. "Is it cookies?" Denise asks. If she's pulling a fast one on Probby, I will love her forever. Probby reveals that he has brought with him one of the garish ugly necklaces they use as Immunity Idol nowadays - let's call it the Angry Monkey because it's an awesome name - and he's going to hold the Immunity Challenge right there and then. It's quiz time, people, and it's a Q&A based on the circus they have watched a while earlier.

So he gets everyone in a circle, gets all smug about being grandfatherly and all, and starts asking stupid questions. It all boils down to Jaime and Frosti in the end. Frosti claims that he has poor memory, so naturally he has to win this one. Hey, Jaime is the second last person standing. How that can be, Burnetto? Isn't she supposed to be the stupid one? Nyuk, nyuk! Frosti happily gets to keep the Angry Monkey and does this adorable dance that you have to see for yourself to appreciate how cute this fellow is.

Later, Peih-Gee knows that it's going to be her, Jaime, or Erik on the ice and she tries to gauge James' support. James has no support to give, as he is happily telling Todd and Amanda about someone from the original Zhan Hu having the fake Waldo. Amanda tells the camera that Jaime is the target since the original Longies believe that she is the "silent leader". Peih-Gee is too obvious at times, so that makes Jaime more cunning, you see, and therefore the bigger threat to be rid of first. Amanda tells James that Jaime is the target, but she also cautions James about Courtney who may not be on their side since Courtney has "a mind of her own". Unlike Amanda, whom we all know gets all her thinking done by Todd. This has James telling the camera that Courtney is a "skinny bitch" who, coming from New York, should be smarter than to "fall in love with any swinging Dick or Harry that floats along and smile at her".

See that? That's any love I have for James deflating like a balloon with a pin taken to it. That crippled braindead Scout can keep James. Good luck in turning James into a lesbian, Scout! That confessional has me realizing that James does nothing but to trash talk people apart from Denise (because she goes along with everything he says) so far in this show and that's a rather unappealing trait to watch considering that this man doesn't have the smart to back up his trash talk. Please don't tell me that James is another Terry or Rupert, because that will really break my heart.

Jean-Robert is completely irrelevant at this point, so it's high comedy when he tries to get Todd in a private chit-chat to get rid of Peih-Gee instead of Jaime because Jean-Robert is attracted to Peih-Gee and therefore he doesn't want to be "tempted" further. Is this buffoon joking? I hope he is, but if he's not, he's really embarrassing to watch. Jean-Robert even threatens to nail Todd if Todd tries to do something funny towards him. I'm just amazed that Todd doesn't burst out laughing right there in Jean-Robert's face. Jean-Robert tells Todd that should Todd cross Jean-Robert, that buffoon will do his best to make sure that Todd will not get any votes when Todd ends up before the final Jury. I don't think Jean-Robert is that persuasive, but I have a hunch that the other members of the Jury may feel as angry at Todd as he does and vote for the other person out of spite.

Todd reveals to the camera that he has Final Three deals with every one of the remaining original Longies. It's Todd's game to lose at this point, I believe. Notice that the only constant in his various deals is that Amanda will also be in the Final Three with him and the other person Todd has a deal with? It seems as if Todd is also playing the game for Amanda at this point. I don't know why, but I can easily see Amanda winning this thing if Todd takes her to the Final Three and the Jury is out for his blood. I suppose I will just have to wait and see how Todd wins - or loses - this game.

Peih-Gee and Jaime now have a private chat, although naturally the show wants me to just laugh at these two because girls on this show are so stupid, nyuk, nyuk. They seem to be sure that James is on their side. The show wants me to assume that these two ladies are jumping to conclusions because these ladies are stupid that way, but I wonder. Could it be that James lied to them about being with them all the way? But that will mean that James lied, and we can't have that since James is supposed to be this big and virile specimen of all that is right with masculinity. Peih-Gee and Jaime decide to target Jean-Robert since there is a slight chance that the others may vote him out as well. But they agree that Erik and Jaime would most likely be targeted as well because the original Longies could very well view Erik and Jaime as a couple to be broken up. They also discuss Frosti's apparent closeness to Courtney - I guess this is what James was talking about earlier about her falling for any random person not approved by James beforehand - and how the Longies may use Courtney as a bait to draw Frosti over to the other side.

Jaime and Todd now talk. If you want to pay attention to how this show edits Jaime to be a buffoon, look at her hair. She may have washed her hair and restyled it some time after the merge. In this scene, her hair is clearly that before she washes her hair. It's completely different from the hair she sports in the previous scene, so I suspect that this scene takes place some time before Jaime realizes that her Waldo is not the real one. She tells Frosti that she has Waldo.

Frosti, who has seen Waldo thanks to Todd and Amanda, thinks that her Waldo looks like the one Todd showed him, but then again, she could easily have the wrong one as well. Who knows? Todd tells the camera that the worst thing that can happen if Jaime has Waldo is that Jean-Robert will be voted out. Todd also betrays how little understanding he has of the game when he proceeds to call himself the swing vote between the original Zhanies and the original Longies. He thinks he's in a good position, but given how in previous seasons opposing factions had actually banded to vote off the self-proclaimed swing votes so that they can then wage a war of attrition on each other in peace, he shouldn't feel so confident. Also, in his case, being the "swing vote" gives him no benefit beyond the upcoming Tribal Council since the numbers are such that, bar a blimp or two in program when the Longies vote one of their own, a Pagonging of the Zhanies is inevitable. I hope Todd realizes that he is never considered by the Longies as one of them.

Jaime, now sporting a different hairstyle, tries to bluff Todd into revealing his hand by asking Todd what Todd knows about the Waldos and whether Todd wants to exchange information about the Waldos with her. Jaime tells him that she knows who has the Zhan Hu Waldo and she will reveal who this person is if he will tell her in return who has the Fei Long Waldo. This means that Jaime has pieced together that there are two Waldos, and, I believe, she doesn't believe that her Waldo is the real one as well. She won't play her hand like this if she believes that her Waldo is the real one. Todd pieces together that Jaime is the one who has the fake Waldo and gleefully tells the camera that Jaime is so stupid for... what? Believing that the thing that looks like Waldo is Waldo? Hey, at least she's not the moron who gave James the two Waldos. If Jaime is stupid, Todd is even more stupid.

Stupid circus music plays as Jaime tells the camera that the best plan for her may be to play dumb for now although she adds that she's not as dumb as she looks. Here is where the show all but plays a track of Scout's witch-like laughter to accompany Jaime's confessional. The show wants me to believe that Jaime isn't being self-effacing and good-natured in this confessional. The show wants me to believe that Jaime really is as dumb as she looks.

James and Jean-Robert meet. In this scene which should have circus music playing in the background, Jean-Robert wants James to vote out Peih-Gee and he will not be persuaded by James to do otherwise. James tells the camera that the Longies have been gunning for Jaime for a "month now". Look, James can't count and realize that they haven't been on the show for a month yet. James is stupid! Where is the circus music, Burnetto. At any rate, James gloats that Jaime's fate is sealed, blah blah blah. Isn't that the theme of this episode anyway?

Night, Tribal Council. Again, we should have plenty of circus music playing when Probby praises Jean-Robert for being a "student of people". Look, Probby is stupid! Nyuk, nyuk! Damn it, where is the freaking circus music? After more pointless chatter, Probby calls people to vote. When he comes back from "tallying" the votes - look, he's using the word wrong, he's so stupid, nyuk, nyuk - Jaime decides to make or break for it by asking out loud whether this thing she happened to find around the place is Waldo. It isn't, and judging from her face, she knows it isn't but she figures that she has nothing to lose by showing it to Probby. Of course that thing isn't Waldo, so Probby flings it into the fire with all the contempt he can muster because... Jaime is blonde? Jaime is a girl and he finds girls icky? Who knows. At any rate, Peih-Gee, Erik, and Jaime vote for Jean-Robert, Jean-Robert votes for Peih-Gee, and Courtney votes for Jean-Robert. Everyone else, however, votes Jaime out so she's the first member of the Jury. Throughout Jaime's walk of shame, Todd, James, and Jean-Robert are nyuk-nyuking up a storm with Probby. Probby then announces that Jaime is the first member of the Jury, so hey, those guys can carry on with the nyuk-nyuk's.

And that's it. God, I hate this episode. You know, this episode could have been funny if the morons editing this show let things be instead of trying so hard to force Jaime to come off as more stupid than she really is because she happens to be the smartest person in this episode despite the editors' efforts. Todd and James come off as complete morons, although not as bad as Probby who completely humiliates himself here. Probby is losing it, folks, he's really losing it. The poor man just hasn't been the same since his darling Ozzy failed to win the million dollars.

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