All-Stars Survivor: Episode 6
Previously, Survivor was a fun show all about schadenfraude and making fun of obnoxious famehos. Then the idiot Big Gay Hatch thinks that it is funny to get naked and rub his puny wang against Sue Hawk's backside, Probby fails to stop him in time, and the resulting fall-out brings out the worst in people who think that it is wrong for a woman to lash out against what happened to her because she is not a pretty princess like Ambore. I'm talking about the fans as much as the Survivors.
It is not a good week since this episode first aired, as it brings out fans that speak against Sue in support of Hatch, apparently because Hatch is "funny" and Sue, the "bitch", should have just taken it all in and shut up. There are gay men - the ones that blindly support anything gay - as well as women that consider Sue an overreacting drama queen. There are of course the chauvinist jerks who contribute as well to the whole "blame the victim" drama playing out on the online fanboards. Should Sue be held responsible for what happened to her? No, of course not - what world are we living in, really, when a woman is made to be in the wrong when she is furious and humiliated after a man deliberately humiliates and intimidates her using his exposed penis? I sincerely hope that most of these people posting are just being online trolls and they really do not believe that Hatch is in the right to do what he did to Sue.
The bottomline is, for a while I am happy to forget that this show is different from other reality shows that are created solely to humiliate their participants. But thanks to this episode and the resulting fallout, I am reminded of the exploitative nature of the reality TV genre and the worst types of fans that these shows attract. For a while, I am truly embarrassed to be a fan of Survivor.
Anyway, that's my rant about this show. Let's move on with the recap.
Early morning, day sixteen, Ego Ego. Lex Loser is asleep. The pervert cameraman zooms in on the Shii Devil's backside while Kathy walks on the beach (no worries about her backside getting onto the camera there, I'm sure). Jerri pokes lifelessly at the fire and gets the first confessional of the day. She talks about how last night was a "scramble at the last minute" as she and the Shii Devil approached Kathy just before the Tribal Council and learned that Kathy would be voting for Hatch. This led the other two women to switch their votes from Colby to Hatch too, thus leading to the voting pattern during the Tribal Council.
The three women now are in the water. They are dissing Colby for his high-handed ways. Kathy declares that she is "offended" because Colby sent Lex to convey his orders to her. Why is that silly cow offended? What does she expect? Colby to come and meekly beg her permission to plot a coup against Hatch? In her confessional, she says that she decides to vote for Hatch in order to preserve her alliance with Lex. So she's going to do what Lex tells her to, so again I wonder, why her taking offense at the whole voting-out Hatch affair? Silly twit. The Shii Devil tells the camera that Crazy Kathy is the power player of Ego Ego as she holds all the cards, and the other Egos are fools if they do not notice that. Note that the Shii Devil has announced that she is no fool, although she is, because so far she's been doing nothing but giving fangirl confessionals where she practises her shoving her tongue up the sphincter of any Survivor that catches her fancy. Idiot.
Over at Cheapora, Hagrid is making a fishing spear. Apparently they have lost their old spear. Big Red Tom is watching. They are like one gorilla learning from another gorilla the art of lice-picking. Hagrid says that this spear will kill a fish because look, the spear manages to cut his finger, and we all know how thick Hagrid's skin is. The spear is apparently a nail clobbered into the end of a stick. Let's hope this spear works better than Hagrid's last two projects.
Big Red Tom obviously doesn't know Hagrid well as he calls Hagrid "easygoing" in his confessional while gushing about how much Tom likes that guy. He is uneasy however about Hagrid's presence in Cheapora as Hagrid could easily usurp Tom's place in the tribe. And what place is that, may I ask? "Obnoxious freaks that should be beaten bloody in the head with the ugly stick"? Meanwhile, Hagrid tells the camera that he likes how the role of provider in Cheapora is "wide open" as nobody is able to catch fish. Sue picks the clams that are currently the Cheapos' main diet. Hagrid says that Sue is "playing her own game" but is "only getting snails". Um, Hagrid, your game is the same as Sue's, so maybe you should lighten up on the superiority trip a little. It's hard, but maybe if you try real hard, you may remove at least your chin, if not your entire head, out of your own ass.
Meanwhile, Sue is hard at work chipping away clams and snails from the rocks along the beach. She tells the camera as she works about how at first nobody wants to eat these mollusc critters she picks, but now everyone can't get enough of them. She's quite grouchy about that as she doesn't eat rice so there are less of these shelly yummies for her at the end of the day. Then she stands up, accidentally tips the bucket over, and moans when she sees the shelly critters spill onto the ground that she has to recollect those things again. This scene must be Burnetto's idea of telling people that Sue's days as a provider are numbered, because the next scene is Hagrid going undersea fishing, as if I've not seen enough footages of him doing just that in Pearl Islands.
Unknown to Hagrid, Big Red Tom and the now awake Robfather are watching from the beach. The Robfather says to Tom that he should catch some fish too, if only to show "Grizzly Adams" over there that he's not the only big guy in the tribe. He points out that Hagrid has only succeeded in catching two small fish since he joined Cheapora, so Hagrid isn't that good as a provider. To the camera, he says that he enjoys the fish Hagrid catches and Hagrid can keep at being a provider for as long as the Robfather decides to humor him. After that, he'll be gone when the Robfather says so, he boasts. He says that Hagrid has better feed him well if he wishes to remain in the tribe. That's not exactly the most humble thing to say, but anything that can puncture Hagrid's sense of self-importance is alright with me. So rock on, Robfather!
Back to Ego Ego, Colby and the Shii Devil are lying side by side on their shelter. No, they didn't - get your mind out of the gutter. Colby only goes for men and women over the age of forty, don't you know. The Shii Devil turns to Colby and says in an annoyed tone that Colby "sent her a message" at the Tribal Council last night. In her confessional, the Shii Devil says that her strategy all along has been trying to stay under the radar - if standing out like a sore thumb as "the useless twig that never does anything" can in any way considered playing under the radar - and Colby doesn't like that.
Back to the conversation, Colby flat out tells her that he doesn't respect her type of gameplay. He tells her that it is very easy for her to sit down in the tent, ask people what she should do, and then follow orders while letting others take the fall as the "bad guy" - just like he did last night and almost got burned by the result. Wow, Colby, do you know that you've described Ethanol's gameplan in Africa? He says in his confessional pretty much the same thing he told the Shii Devil: he doesn't respect anyone who chooses to play by waiting for someone to tell them what to do. Never mind that he comes off like a crate of sour grapes - after all, he can't fly under the radar even if he wishes to - and that playing under the radar is a valid gameplay as much as anything else, but it is very stupid of him to be openly antagonizing his tribemates for no good reason. Never underestimate anybody in the tribe, even the supposedly weakest ones - instead, exploit them, as Porno did very well in Thailand to his advantage.
The Shii Devil in her own confessional rolls up her eyes in a wonderful impersonation of Linda Blair in The Exorcist. "Lecture, lecture!" she says as she rolls up her eyeballs, calling Colby "Captain America with a good teeth and a nice smile", and I don't think she means them as a compliment to him. She says that while Colby is telling her that she is not a player that he can respect, she in thinking in her head, "I'm sorry, but are you done yet?" She doesn't respect his gameplay either, she says childishly, so they are "equal". But she is not dumb enough to tell what she really thinks about his gameplay to his face, she adds. Fair enough, as she's dumb enough in every other way.
Back at the Cheapo fairground, Sue shakes and rattles a coconut as she tries to pick a "lucky coconut" from the bunch on the camp ground for dinner. The others are gathered around the fire nearby, and Hagrid is talking about how wonderful if they enter the merge with a seven-five or seven-four majority. He thinks that such a majority will mean that every Cheapo is guaranteed a spot in the game. I don't even want to make sense of his fuzzy logic. Besides, which idiot will still believe that tribal lines will hold in this game after merge, especially after the idiot in question has been betrayed by his own tribemates in a satisfying post-merge boot? Alicia in her confessional says that the original Cheapos are still holding back and observing the new Cheapos JennaLoo and Hagrid before offering them their official merit badges. They are also waiting to see which Ego got voted out last night, if only to see which way the wind is blowing regarding the dissolved Sobroken tribe.
Back at the discussion by the fire, Hagrid thinks that Jerri Mantis is gone. Tom thinks that Hatch is the person booted out, and Alicia can only wish that Hatch is gone. Hagrid says that he will make sure Hatch is booted off were he an Ego, as Hatch will drive them all crazy. Sue fervently wishes that Hatch is gone and says that "they" (Burnetto, perhaps?) should talk to him about what he did to her in the previous Immunity Challenge. The Robfather agrees that what Hatch did to Sue was "disgusting". In her confessional, Sue says that the tribe is "over" the incident, but she then describes what Hatch did to her in some detail, suggesting that she isn't as over the incident as she'd like to believe. Sue tells her tribemates that Hatch should also go because Hatch is a previous winner and winners don't deserve a second chance at winning more money.
Day seventeen, morning, Cheapora. The Robfather is awake and is huddled by the fire. Sue starts off the day with a confessional, where she describes how she couldn't sleep and the night was long, haunted as she was by the Hatch incident. She then bursts into tears, wondering aloud why Hatch targetted only her and nobody else in his sexual harassment. Alicia is standing outside their shelter and watching Sue walk alone on the beach when Ambore comes up to stand beside her and watch Sue too. Ambore asks Alicia how Sue is doing. Alicia says that Sue was in tears earlier, freaking out about Hatch and wondering what her husband will think when he watches the incident on TV. I don't know about anyone else, but any husband that freaks out and blames the wife after watching the episode deserves to be tarred and driven out of town. Ambore, with startling insight, thinks that Sue wants to be left alone.
Sue is now lying on the beach, silent, still breathing though. Alicia says in her confessional that Sue hasn't been herself since early morning. She is surprised by how much Sue is affected by the incident. Now, she sits by Sue on the beach and tells Sue that the tribe is worried for Sue and Sue's misery is affecting everyone as much as it affects Sue. Sue says that she has been with the same partner for more than twenty years and she has never even contemplated kissing someone else, so what Hatch did to her was really "gross". Alicia tells Sue that there is nothing Sue can do and also, she doesn't believe that Sue's husband will blame Sue for the incident. Sue says that there is something that she can do about this incident, but she won't get it done just by lying on the beach. Alicia tells Sue to try and get this incident out of her system. Sue doesn't seem to know how, unfortunately. Alicia concludes sadly in her confessional that Sue can't control her emotions and Alicia doesn't know how to console Sue when Sue is in that condition.
Alicia, JennaLoo, the Robfather, and Ambore are now talking about Sue. Ambore and Alicia are sympathetic, saying that the more Sue thinks about the incident, the more distraught she becomes. The Robfather now talks to Ambore as they walk side by side, with him wondering aloud whether Sue is playing a sneaky game or is genuinely distressed by the incident. But he adds that this is a serious situation and they should always give Sue the benefit of the doubt. In his confessional, he says that Sue could be up to one of the following tricks: she could sue for a lot of money, she could be manipulating the others into feeling sorry for her, or she could be genuinely tearing up inside. No one except Sue knows what Sue is thinking, he says. Back at the beach, Ambore tells the Robfather that while at first Sue may just want Hatch to get into trouble for what he did to her, Ambore now believes that Sue's distress is genuine. She tells the Robfather that in another situation, Sue may shrug this incident off for the payback books, but this is Survivor and when one is in game mode, the mind can do crazy things to the person.
Hagrid tries to tempt Sue to eat, but Sue refuses his overtures. In his confessional, Hagrid says that Sue has "thrown in the towel". He adds that Sue could have stopped the incident by crying 'Foul', but she just said 'Gross' and went on with the game, and now she has the nerve to "come up" with her "own agenda". He shakes his head in disapproval. What a turdsucker. I hope that one day he will end up in prison where he gets grinded nightly in the showers. And then I will see what kind of agenda he will come up with and how he will throw the towel left, right, and center. Is this idiot really a troubled teen mentor or is he a mentor that makes the teens troubled? I'd hate to send my kids to this guy for mentoring, because wow, in Hagrid's world, if you wait until shock sets in and then cries foul, you are a quitter and a selfish jerk with an agenda.
Alicia is conflicted and feeling helpless about her inability to help Sue. Big Red Tom is most sympathetic. He feels that Sue is blowing the incident out of proportion but he's not her, so he won't pretend to understand her. After describing Sue as overbearing and saying that he doesn't need her, he announces his perfect solution for Sue's misery: let's just "stick a fork" in her! He better hope that he never encounters me in a dark alley when there is a cattle prod in my hand.
At Ego Ego, Jerri and Lex Loser are discussing the kinds of food they miss. Jerri says that over at Sobroken, at least there are coconuts and other food, while at Ego Ego they have only rice. Meanwhile, Crazy Kathy and the Shii Devil are bitching and making faces behind those two's backs, with Kathy whining that she hates thinking about food as it makes her think of sundaes, sundaes dripping from her hair and two ice cream cones shoved up her nostrils... um, where was I? I need help. This show and its loathsome cast are making my violent tendencies rise to the forefront. The Shii Devil misses Hatch and the fish he caught for them, pleading in her confessional, "Richard Hatch, I miss you already!" Oi, dumb gnat, shut up already. Just go marry him already and let his misogynistic fat ass browbeat you if you love him so much, you stupid gnat.
Now that Hatch is gone and someone needs to get fish, Ethanol and Lex discuss about them stepping into Hatch's shoes. Lex says that he can fish, only that he didn't do so in the past because he didn't want to step onto the territorial Hatch's toes. Lex goes fishing, and Ethanol just sits on the rocks and hugs himself like the pathetic useless dweeb that he is. At one time, his pose seems to suggest that he's, uh, playing with himself while sitting on the rock (see picture). Let's hope he's not, for Lex's sake. Lex catches a fish, and Ethanol cheers and says that they have caught a fish. Yeah, I bet Ethanol's telepathic powers draw all the fish to Lex's spear like nothing else. Ethanol says in his confessional that Lex is so enthusiastic about catching another fish, so he lets that man go ahead. "I let Lex catch all the fish today," he says. Yes, so did I. And what a surprise, even Dubby at the White House let Lex catch the fish today too. Anybody else let Lex catch the fish today? Let's see a show of hands!
The Egos are cheered when Lex and Ethanol return with a bounty of fish. Colby isn't entirely pleased. In his confessional, he says that Lex is very competitive, saying that were they in Texas, catching fish is not Lex's first rodeo. Huh? He decides to put a black tick next to Lex's fishing ability, marking Lex as a potential threat to Colby's position in the tribe. Colby, be like Ethanol - he let Lex catch all the fish today! As the Egos gush over the bounty, Lex tells the camera that he has the "favor" of the ladies at the moment and because he can be a provider, maybe the ladies will see that there is no good reason to keep Colby and Ethanol around. Just what is with these alpha males and their need to kill off each other while making a harem out of the remaining members?
Over at Cheapora, an alliance is brewing. JennaLoo is voicing her insecurities about her usefulness to her tribe to Ambore and Hagrid when Ambore ask them to meet up with the Robfather. It turns out that the Robfather and Ambore are interested in forming a solid four Masters And Pawns alliance with those two. Ambore explains to the camera that the Robfather and she decide to woo the Pawns over to the darkside by telling the Pawns that the Masters are actually outcasts of the tribe and they need the Pawns to make them feel all safe and secure again. Or something. The Robfather says in his confessional that despite Hagrid's squeaky-clean (huh?) image, Harid makes him feel uneasy, so hey, he's decided to make Hagrid an ally. He smiles. Heh, smart guy. JennaLoo a little too enthusiastically agrees to be a Pawn for the Masters. Hagrid confesses to the camera that while he trusts JennaLoo, he only hopes that he can do the same for the Robfather and Ambore.
The Robfather tells them that if they honor this alliance, they will make it all the way to the end. In a cautionary statement that ends up more like a non-sequitur detour, he adds that there will always be alliance members that get greedy and try to jump ship. Hagrid decides that maybe he can trust Ambore as he manages to make her look at him in the eye while he shakes her hands. Ooh, the dumb git trusts a pretty lady but suspects a not-pretty lady for lying, because pretty girls that look at you in the eye can't lie. Someone is still running on empty when it comes to playing the game. The Robfather tells the Pawns that they have his word. Of course, anyone who has seen him in action knows how little his word means.
In his confessional, he confirms what people already know of him: he admits that he has alliances with everyone in the tribe except Sue and Alicia, and he will choose which alliance he honors as the game progresses. "It's my game, buddy!" he declares smugly. Boy, I'd hate him if he isn't showing that this game is, in a way, really his. Let's just hope that his editing is comparable to Porno's and not, say, Burtman's when it comes to the outcome of his blowing his own trumpet.
Ooh, a kindly warning from Burnetto! Today's episode has inappropriate scenes not suitable for kiddies! You hear that, lil' Petey? Big Red Tom is not Barney the Dinosaur, so scram and go suck on your pacifier now.
The Egos have treemail. Jerri and Lex pick up the mail (a small bag of coffee with the note printed as a label) and read it. The mail calls for high-stepping and sailing rewards through the sky or something like that. Jerri smells the coffee in appreciation and she and Lex make a joke about making coffee that will keep them awake for the next five days. In her confessional, Jerri says that she is trying to get a chance all day to talk to Lex alone and this is a good opportunity to do so. Sucking up a little too obviously, she tells Lex that he can trust her "150,000%" (seriously!) and she "absolutely adores" him. What can he say to that but "Okay"? They hug and reaffirm their trust to each other. But in his confessional, he says that while he feels that Jerri is sincere and he can trust her, he will do what it takes to advance in the game. So I guess what he is saying is that she should not trust him. Indeed, he says that he is willing to "take advantage" of any situation that presents itself, including an ally's trust, to win the million dollars. "It's business this time!" he says. Hmm, Porno said the same thing in Thailand too. Let's see if Lex's strategy will pan out as well as Porno's.
The Cheapos are discussing the Reward Challenge and anticipates what kind of food they may win this time. The Robfather says that eating nothing but rice is terrible and they are all starving out here. Hagrid asks Sue whether she is hungry. She says that she isn't. Big Red Tom complains to the others that Sue's withdrawal is hurting the team - not that he has any personal agenda of his own to get rid of her, oh no. Stupid hick; I hope his goats run away to his rival's farm. Hagrid tells the camera that Sue, being Sue, doesn't care what others think and she will pursue her own agenda. And this will be her downfall, he predicts righteously. Unlike that righteous, judgmental asshole, Alicia comes off a more decent human being in her confessional, where she says that while they are concerned about Sue, they still have to play the game. To the tribe, she tries to rally them together and play hard at the Reward Challenge.
The tribes walk to the beach where the Reward Challenge are being held. After announcing Hatch's departure from Ego Ego, Probby addresses the two tribes about the Hatch incident. "Richard Hatch," he says, "was sort of inappropriate." Sort of? Ooh, Probby, talk about a choice of words that would set someone like Sue off, and Sue, being Sue, does just that. When Probby asks for comments, Sue explodes. "I was sexually violated!" she says fiercely. She steps up before Probby and jabs a finger at him. "To have some guy come up - he passed a half a dozen people on platforms and never touched them," she says. Probby tries to say something but he's not getting any word in. "It went too far!" she cries. "And he crossed the line. And he crossed the line with me!" Again, Probby tries to speak, but Sue continues her tirade. She continues to say that she is aware that Probby wasn't aware of what was going on as Hatch's back was facing Probby and Hatch is "too big of a f**king slob to see around." But she shouts that she is "violated, humiliated, dehumanized, and totally spent" and while she absolves Probby on the grounds that she knows that he couldn't see what was going on until it was too late, she doesn't want to go on anymore in this game. "There's no way I can continue with my emotions pushed to the ground that much," she tells Probby. Probby asks her to confirm whether she wants to quit. She says yes.
Probby asks the Egos whether they have anything to say. All say no, they didn't even see the incident. Kathy was there, so maybe she knew something, but that bitch is just smirking all this while as she remains silent. I don't like her anymore. Sue says that the incident happened in front of the Cheapos' platform. Colby finally says that he saw the whole thing. He says, "And the thing is, we're... trust me, I mean you know from the first season - maybe you guys don't - living with a guy being naked sucks because he's naked all the time." Colby, you idiot, Hatch didn't grind his penis against your backside now, did he? That is apples, this is oranges. Are you just stupid now or is your stupidity congenital? "I didn't give a s**t if he was naked if he had just walked by me," Sue addresses Colby, "and never f**king touched me. I'd have been fine, but he didn't, and that's the point." Probby asks her whether it will help her make a decision to stay if Hatch is no longer in the game. Sue says that her mind has left the game twenty-four hours ago.
No doubt hoping to get Sue off the set as soon as possible, Probby calls for the boat. As they wait for the boat to arrive to take Sue, not to Loser Lodge I hope as she will have to spend time there with Hatch, the Shii Devil calls out to her, saying that she is sorry for what happened and that she didn't see what happened between Sue and Hatch. Sue wishes her former tribemates good luck. After receiving a hug from Ambore, Alicia, and JennaLoo, with Alicia even kissing her on the cheek, Sue cries silently as she heads for the boat. I give Probby a lot of credit for walking up to her and putting an arm around her shoulders - a show of support and a small gesture of making amends for what it's worth, and in a situation like this, his gesture can worth a lot to someone like Sue. Jerri shakes her head while Kathy, still barely holding back a smirk, says dispassionately, "Boy, is that discouraging!"
After Sue is gone, Probby asks the two tribes what they want to do. He reveals that the reward for this Challenge is food, lots of food - coffee, sugar, nuts, pineapples, canned beef, oranges... did I miss anything? Oh yes, kabobs and a grill to barbecue them, plus sauce. The tribes can divide the reward and share or they can proceed with the Challenge and the winning tribe takes all. JennaLoo says that they should all share. Crazy Kathy laughs outright at her. Just what is this woman's problem? Did someone take a hammer to her head last night and she is now a walking headcase of insensitivity? Everyone else wants to play, which would make JennaLoo feel alienated and awkward enough as it is without this stupid hag laughing at her.
So they play. Probby explains the rules: to win each sack of food, the Survivor will have to carry the sack to a see-saw device a distance away from the starting line and stamp his or her foot at the far end of the see-saw to send the sack up into a basket located on the top of a platform. The trick here is that the Survivors will have to adjust the see-saw plank to get the sack into the basket. The first tribe to get all sacks in the basket wins the food. There is no sitting out as all tribes have equal members, and the Shii Devil looks noticeably dismayed at this turn of events. Ooh, poor baby!
Cheapora is leading until JennaLoo has problems getting her sack in the basket, causing the Egos to catch up and eventually overtake Cheapora. Oops, JennaLoo. The Egos cheer and celebrate, which is not very nice to see, as this means that the hateful hag Kathy gets to eat canned beef and kabobs for tonight.
It's a grand party at Ego Ego as they begin their feast. "The steak kabobs were more delectable than... excuse me while I clear the saliva out of my mouth," Colby tells the camera. Ethanol says that he doesn't even meat but he's so tantalized by the kabobs that he wants to rub his face in "it" and sleep next to "it". Gosh, no wonder all those Survivor ladies break up with him. Lex hopes that the Cheapos will not harbor any resentment as the Egos deprive them of this meal. Colby reminds him that the Cheapos wanted to play too. He adds that with Sue gone, the Cheapos will be very down tonight. They talk about Hatch and Lex is glad that Hatch is gone, or Sue's outburst would have been even worse. Kathy insists that Hatch will be "mortified" with the rest of them as he has a "soul". After all, Hatch has no control over where he grinds his penis. Kathy knows best - that's why she's a hateful, hateful, hateful hag-bitch from hell. The Shii Devil tells that the camera that she is certain that Hatch doesn't mean any harm with his actions. True, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have to pay the piper for his actions.
Kathy, who apparently sincerely believes that men really have no control over what they do with their penises and it is the woman's fault that she gets to be at the wrong end of things, so to speak, calls Sue an "angry woman" and says, "I don't like her for it. I'm sorry. I know she went through a lot. Still, you've got to learn how to contain your emotions. I was really offended that she'd bring us that far into her core of hatred. I didn't like it. So I don't know if that's mean-spirited, but it's how I feel." Yes, it's all about Kathy. Someone got distressed and poor Kathy, she has to hear depressive things about that incident! How selfish of Sue! Why doesn't Sue think of poor Kathy's sensibilities? Heck, why doesn't Sue take control of the boat she is leaving in, turn around, and crash the boat into the platform where this self-absorbed KathyBitch is standing and grind the propellor against the KathyBitch's behind?
And what's more insulting about KathyBitch's misguided diatribe, other than the fact that she is a woman and she should be more understanding rather than to automatically blame the victim in a sexual harassment case, is that she claims to have not seen the incident. So to have her here judging Sue and declaring that Sue should have kept her mouth shut so as to not inconvenient poor KathyBitch is truly astronomically self-absorbed and misguided of her. Where can I sign up for the KathyBitch Hate Express?
Wait, it gets worse, this show. Night falls over Cheapora. The Robfather asks Hagrid whether Sue was "influenced" to leave the show. No, he says, adding that she left because she was motivated by her own "greed". He says that Sue told him earlier that she wanted to sue "that f**ker" Hatch for ten million dollars. Oh, come on, everyone says that they will sue when they are in situations like this, and you know why, Hagrid? Because that is one of the very few ways a woman can strike back at the man that harasses her. And to call Sue greedy because she left and inconvenienced Hagrid's sense of entitlement to entering a merge with a seven-four majority (he tells Robfather that Sue's departure is a "gift" to Ego Ego) - GOD.
Hagrid then gets a confessional where he whines that the Cheapos are done for thanks to the departure of Hatch, Sue's leaving, and now the Cheapos not getting the Reward Challenge prizes. Okay, firstly, Hatch has nothing to do with Cheapora, so that's one point in Hagrid's nonsense shot down. Secondly, Sue's leaving has nothing to do with Cheapos losing earlier - it is JennaLoo that sank the Cheapos. Remember, Hagrid? Thirdly, if Cheapora not getting kabobs means that the tribe is done for, by all means, just die already, all of them! I am so disgusted with Hagrid at this point that I can just spit whenever his stupid ugly face comes on the TV screen and he slurs his speech like he's some bleedy messiah when he's just a dumb bully street prophet asshole. Asshole!
Hagrid and the Robfather give a pompous lecture about the need to stay united and strong to dominate the other tribe after the merge. All of them pledge their support. And then they call it a day.
Day eighteen, morning, Cheapora. Hagrid collects a tree-mail and learns that there is no Immunity Challenge today as Sue left yesterday. Alicia calls for a moment of silence for Sue, which is nice, until Hagrid gives a mocking laugh and everyone starts to cheer and party. Ambore says in the camera that it is their style to laugh at sad moments, which only tells me that she and these freaks are all in need of a car accident or two as karmic payback for their shocking display of inhumane insensitivity. The Robfather initiates a singalong - "Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead!" and Big Red Tom makes his pendulous manboobs the highlight of the party as he dances to the song. As if JennaLoo's off-key singing isn't bad enough. "It's heart wrenching!" the Robfather mocks. "It's hard to get over!" Big Red Tom cackles.
However, proving that there may be some humanity left on this show, Ambore sits quietly aside, looking hugely discomfited by the celebration while Alicia quietly walks away. In her confessional, Alicia says that while she knows that Big Red Tom and Sue Hawk don't get along, she finds it "pretty crummy" that he chooses to dance over her departure. "Pretty crummy" is an understatement. Alicia says that Sue is like a "guy" - Sue is "hardcore" and they can always count on her, so she doesn't care whether someone likes Sue or not, celebrating her departure the way the Cheapos are doing is "pretty crummy". Amen. It is not as if Sue even asked them for emotional support. She has to deal with her emotional turmoil on her own, she left without actually inconveniencing her tribe members, and now they are singing and dancing because the witch is dead.
Hagrid whines that with Sue gone, they are now down to six versus six. Oh yeah, what a tragic turn of events. Cry me a river - drop dead, asshole!
Ambore tells the camera, "I can't help but wish she was still here. But Survivor's true test is: can you keep it together and keep each other happy? We only think about our highs in this tribe." And I can only hope that you, Hagrid, the Robfather, KathyBitch, and Big Red Tom will never find yourselves in any situation where you will really understand the pain Sue is going through, or that when you do, at least you will find some support that you refused to grant to Sue.
Later, Alicia calls out that the rice is cooked and it's chow time. The Robfather, lying on the hammock, makes a pained face at the rice and says, "Rice, baby, rice! Now this is what the game is all about!"
And then we're done for this episode.
Until that point, I'm convinced that Burnetto is choosing to just show the worst of the Survivors that fail to react mostly on a human level to Sue. Only Lex and Alicia come off as even halfway human at the end of this episode. But with that stupid "this is what the game is all about" editing, I know now that Burnetto is firmly on the Cheapora's side - while he could have portrayed Sue worse than he did on this episode, he is also sending an insulting message that Sue is blowing things out of proportion and she is not what the "game" is all about.
But what is the game all about then? I don't know, because at the end of the day, nearly every one of the Survivors - as well as the fans that come out to mock Sue and blame her for the incident - won't make the cut when it comes to the "game" that is life. Not after the shocking lack of humane sensitivity displayed towards Sue Hawk, not after this episode.
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