The Female Boss
by Tulisa, pop (2012)
Island, £6.99, ASIN B005IN06YY


Poor Tulisa. Not only do people find it easier to spell Nicole Scherzinger's last name compared to hers, her popularity as a judge on The X-Factor UK has been eclipsed by Ms Scherzinger, whose personality makeover after her sacking from the US version of the show has swamped over the former N-Dubz member's presence on the show. Then there was that sex tape, and now, the rotten sales of The Female Boss.

Her solo debut effort's underwhelming sales could be attributed to her cold and distant personality, which hardly endears her to the audience - she's not Cheryl Cole, alas, more like Kara DioGuardi. However, some blame also has to be heaped on the lackluster choice of songs here.

The best song is easily Sight Of You, but it's a generic mid-tempo tune that could have been performed by any female pop artist that is currently hot in the airwaves. The other songs are a collection of faster tunes with some ballads tossed in here and there, and they all lack any distinctive feature that make them stand out from the glut of polished pop tunes in the market.

Wait, let me take some of that last statement back. British Swag is certainly memorable in how hilariously embarrassing it is. It is the imbecile sibling of Cher Lloyd's Swagger Jagger, one that is usually locked away in the attic to avoid bringing embarrassment to the family. "I'm all about my dollars! But I specialize in pounds, specia-specialize in pounds!" she'd go and I'd howl in laughter. She performs this song so seriously, which makes it horrifyingly cringe-inducing instead of amusingly tongue-in-cheek.

The Female Boss shows that the people behind it have no idea what Tulisa is supposed to project as an artist. There are the bookends intro and outro that reminds me too much of Christina Aguilera's "I'm back stronger than ever, bitches!" shtick and the songs that try very hard to turn Tulisa into everyone from Cher Lloyd to Leona Lewis. I don't get what Tulisa is trying to be here, and I don't remember too many of the songs once they are over. The poor darling's efforts are too generic to the point of being forgettable.

Rating: 56


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