Wrath Of The Titans (2012)
Main cast: Sam Worthington (Perseus), Rosamund Pike (Andromeda), Bill Nighy (Hephaestus), Édger Ramirez (Ares), Tony Kebbell (Agenor), Danny Huston (Poseidon), Ralph Fiennes (Hades), and Liam Neeson (Zeus)
Director: Jonathan Liebesman
Oh boy, where do I even start? Okay, Wrath Of The Titans is a sequel to Clash Of The Titans, and where the previous movie at least has some kind of epic feel to it, despite it being riddled with all kinds of issues that made it unwatchable, this one is like a Jerry Springer circus as Hades, Zeus, and Poseidon try to resolve their family issues - violently, of course - while the idiot Perseus and his new girl Andromeda blink like confused idiots and go around pretending to be miniatures on a tabletop RPG game.
Perseus, sporting a hideous haircut that would assault my eyes and sensibilities for the entire 90 minutes or so of this movie, is now a widower, as Io died a while back and it is time for him to hook up with another hot chick. Zeus and Poseidon decide to meet Hades and Ares for a chit-chat on rebuilding Tartarus after the nonsense in the previous movie, but oops, Hades and Ares decide that they would rather be friends with the titan Kronos, so they betray Zeus and Poseidon.
Poseidon manages to convince Perseus to seek out Poseidon's son Agenor for assistance in cleaning up the mess before dying. Lucky sod - he gets to escape the film early. Perseus discovers that he needs the trident of Poseidon, the thunder bolt of Zeus, and Hades's pitchfork to create that super spear that can take down Kronos. How would he get his hands on those things? Oh, and Andromeda tags along in hope that people would still appreciate some eye candy after the eyesore that is that... thing... on Sam Worthington's head.
The plot, or what little of it, is utter crap, the dialogues are cringe-inducing and corny, and poor Sam Worthington - with his face frozen in a singular blank expression throughout the entire flick - is once again upstaged by everyone else in this movie. Still, he manages to hold his own against a computer generated flying horse, so that's something, I guess. Rosamund Pike, who steps in when the actress that played Andromeda in the previous movie cleverly fled for the hills rather than to play the role again, starts out okay but she looks and acts like she wishes someone would just end her misery as the seconds drag on.
Curiously enough, for a film that is rarely anything more than one action scene after another, this one is boring. There is something missing throughout everything, that feeling of being wowed by the CGI or being at the edge of the seat from all the excitement. Watching this movie is like being on autopilot. I don't particularly care about the story and I find everything about it bland and dull. Even the Cyclops is boring, and the so-called big damn villain Kronos all go down without much of a challenge.
While I was not expecting much when I was dragged to watch this, I certainly didn't expect it to be this wretched. Can we just kill of this franchise now?
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