Heartbreakers (2001)
Main cast: Sigourney Weaver (Maxine Conners/Angela Nardino/Ulga Yevanova), Jennifer Love Hewitt (Page Conners/Wendy/Jane Helstrom), Ray Liotta (Vinnie Staggliano), Jason Lee (Jack Withrowe), and Gene Hackman (William B Tensy)
Director: David Mirkin


Heartbreakers's IQ seems to degenerate with the increasing amount of cleavage Sigourney Weaver and Jennifer Love Jugwit, sorry, Hewitt display as the movie progresses. Men, sit ye on your seats and drool. If David Mirkin is lucky, nobody male will notice how men are depicted as morons led by their lil' winkies in this movie.

Sigourney Weaver plays Maxine, grifter, and Jugwit her daughter Page. Fresh from a con involving poor deluded shady guy Vinnie, our two ladies fall prey to the biggest grifter of them all - the IRS. With a horrendous amount of money they must cough up with (or it's the pokey for them), our squabbling mom-daughter team has to pull one last con before going separate ways. Target? Aging geezer and very wealthy William B Tensy.

Our ladies' plan always revolves around Maxine seducing and marrying said dumb forkwit and in comes Jugwit to "seduce" the forkwit. Mom will catch them in action, and whoopee, it's easy divorce and lucrative court settlement for everybody. It worked on Vinnie, so there's no problem working on the old forkwit, right?

Except that Vinnie wants Maxine back. Yes, he's madly in love, with Ray Liotta poking fun very effectively at all those psycho/mob/gangster roles he is typecasted in in his career. And Jugwit feels that she is grown up now, and she wants to strike out on her own. Her mark? Restaurant owner Jack Withrowe, who is sitting on a three million dollar's worth of land. Alas, them hormones keep getting in Jugwit's way.

There are many plot twists in this movie, especially since William Tensy is not that easy to get (gullible and horny, yes, but easy, not really). But Heartbreakers is not as funny as it believes itself to be. There are some hilarious moments, like Weaver's awful rendition of something called Back In The USSR and the silly hijinks involving an overendowed statue.

But where this movie fumbles is Jugwit's love story with Jack Withrowe. It's not Hewitt's fault, really, as her role is written in such a way that she comes off a completely spoiled, rotten, whiny bitch whom I doubt any sane man would even want to spend time with, much less propose to. It's nice to see Jason Lee playing a great romantic dude, but really, pair him with Jugwit's mega-PMS and we get another dumb - if charming - man who is led around by his Mr Winkie. Maxine and Vinnie's love story fares slightly better, maybe because both characters are written better than Jack and Page's characters.

Still, at the end of the day, Heartbreakers is all about the jugs and legs and none of the braincells. Even seeing how fiftysomething Weaver outshines twentysomething Hewitt in the acting chops and looks department does little to placate my feeling that I have wasted $8.00 on this movie.

Rating: 62


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