Main cast: Anthony Hopkins (Gaylord Oaks), Chris Rock (Jake Hayes/Kevin Pope), Matthew Marsh (Dragan Adjanic), Kerry Washington (Julie), Peter Stormare (Adrik Vas), and Garcelle Beauvais (Nicole)
Director: Joel Schumacher
Imagine my horror when, staring at the movie poster, I saw the name of the director. Joel Schumancher. He of the nipple and protruding Batman and Robin crotches, the shoemuncher of mediocrity. "Let's watch something else!" I exclaim, but too late, the tickets are already purchased. Can I have some aspirin with my popcorns?
And seriously, what is wrong with Chris Rock? I can forgive him for his almighty preachy act in Dogma because that movie is fabulous, but why is he playing the same old role in all his movies? The preachy Black Guy who mocks white dudes while making Black Is Good Statements with the subtlety of the nuclear explosions in this movie? In TV, Rock can really rock, but on the big screen, he loses it and goes Earth Black Brother on me. Cut that out, it's cloying and annoying to the extreme.
This is definitely one of Anthony Hopkins' "I'm in it for the paycheck" movies. Not that I like him that much anyway, but that's another rant for another day. Here, he just looks lost and bewildered and even bored as he plays an FBI operative who tries to mould Rock's character into a suave FBI agent.
Rock plays conman Jack Hayes, whose twin brother Kevin Pope is killed in a mission. Jack doesn't even know he has a twin brother, but well, now he knows. And unless he cooperates with Gaylord Oaks, Hopkins' character, and the FBI, a nuclear bomb will fall into terrorists' hands and Manhattan will go kaboombie.
So half the movie is basically My Fair Brother, amusing only if you find the Brother Surrounded By Posh Luxury thing, done to death by Rock on TV, still funny. Rock hams it up, probably believing that this movie will save the Brothers for all I know, while Hopkins looks as if he's not really there - it's just a projection of him and he's calling in his lines from a cellphone in Upper Guam.
Then comes the later half. Chases! Bomb goes ticky-ticky-ticky! People pretending to still care about this movie!
Boy, am I glad when this dull, dreary movie with one of the most chemistry-free male duos ever is finally over.
This movie at Amazon.com
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