Second Opinion
by Evelyn Rogers, contemporary (1999)
LoveSpell (The Time Of Your Life), $5.99, ISBN 0-505-52332-9


It's the beautiful blue cover that seduced me into picking this book up. I love the way the blue and purple hues frame the picture of the two tender loving koochie-schmoo people on the cover. Next time I must remember to read a few chapters or so. Because the only time of my life Second Opinion offers is akin to getting my skull jackhammered by a blunt stone drill.

SO is the perfect target for all my Ally McBeal jokes and it has almost all the category clichés one can think of, I can't help but to wonder if someone is setting me up for one of those joke TV shows. I half expect a camera crew to jump out and shout "Surprise!" the moment my blood pressure sends me to Pluto.

To love SO is to accept that a big-breasted, slim, drop dead beautiful, tight-bummed doctor (with great hips too) would be so stupid as to feel such low self-esteem at her self worth and beauty that she would take her ex's word at face value that she is pathetic in bed. Naturally, ex is a slime, which makes our Perfect Heroine's intelligence questionable - why the heck would she marry him in the first place?

I forgot. Heroines can't have a good ex.

Our normally uptight, frigid, and whiny heroine gets drunk - not a usual occurrence, of course, so 'fraid not, readers - and ends up in bed with her ex's fishing partner. Gee, what are the chances of that happening?

When sobriety returns, heroine clams up her thighs and her brains, and starts screaming in shrill protests, "It's just sex! I don't love you! I can't love you! No more! Get lost! GO GO GO GO!" When he does go, she would sit down and weeps, "Boohoohoo! I'm so unlovable! Even with my bouncy petite 36DDD Esmeraldas and my perfect hips and such, I think I'm such an unattractive dolt! Oh, tragic me! Waaa! Sob!"

Oh, and for a doctor, she sure has a lot of free time to indulge in self pity.

I've had much more fun examining nose boogers than reading this painfully boring and absolutely irritating book. Don't bother waving goodbye, let me just put my Reebok sneakers at the bum of these two people and shove them out the door. And don't come back!

Rating: 02


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