Wicked Widow
by Amanda Quick, historical (2000)
Bantam, $23.95, ISBN 0-553-10087-4


Oops... She Did It Again!
(To be sung to the tune of Oops... I Did It Again! by Britney Spears)

Yeah yeah
Mm-hmm (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Mm-hmm (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)

Amanda Quick did it again
Just when I thought she was back in shape
She recycled the trends
Oh baby
It might seem trivial
For her characters still banter
Like Ebert and Siskel

But the whole book's familiar
That is just so typically Quick
Oh lordy, lordy

Chorus:
Oops, she did it again!
She just changed who got killed
Draw in the same characters
Oh lordy, lordy!
Oops, the same broody dark-haired fellow
The feisty intelligent bluestocking widow
It's not that entertaining!

Madeline Deveridge's problem is this
They say she killed her hubby
Now she's haunted by his ghost
Do ghosts exist?
Artemis Hunt just passes his days
Running the local amusement park, hatching revenge

She wants him to solve the mystery
In exchange for her daddy's history
Lordy oh

Oops, Amanda Quick did it again!
Give Zamar a new name
It's now Vanzagara
Oh lordy lordy
Add in a half-baked mystery
(This author's no Agatha Christie)
It's all so $23.95-unworthy!

Mmm hmm (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Mmm hmm (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)

All aboard!
Guy: Giggly, before you go, I want you to have this
She: Oh you shouldn't have... wait a minute. Isn't this just like Dangerous and Mistress mixed in one big jello and...
He: Umm... yeah.
She: And you paid $23.95 for this?
He: Actually, I borrowed it, and I'm hoping you can return it to Grace for me and Ow!

Oops, she did it again with her plots
Just changed the dead fellow's names and baby
What's with the Vanzababble rot?
It's all quite irritating!

Oops, she did it again
Took recycling too seriously
Rewritten her old catalogue
Oh lordy lordy
Another Zamar, another Vanzagara
Another villian who tells all by the Epilogue
It's all pretty flimsy

Oops, she did it again
So what if Artemis and Madeline
Exchange banters that make me grin?
It's what counts, the whole package
Wish the author would take a vacation
Bahamas is good for new inspiration
Just stop this self-sabotage

I miss the old Amanda Quick

Rating: 60


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