by Mima, fantasy (2007)
Liquid Silver Books, $5.75, ISBN 978-1-59578-369-1
Am I missing something here?
The first three paragraphs of this story are:
She ran down to the water's edge. Her laughter echoed across the dark lake.
His Lizzeed snapped and slashed inside him. Chase. Through force of will he remained on the beach. Breathe. He dragged his eyes from her ass. Control. His other self grew more impatient each day of the enforced abstinence.
What an interminable week. A week for her to grow ready, between the choosing and the matebond ceremony. The Council ruled it a necessary deference to human proprieties. He did not chafe as his Lizzeed did. He suffered it gladly so that she'd never be afraid of him. She faced so many changes, leaving her City, leaving everything she knew. But his Lizzeed didn't care about sensitivity. It wanted Freezha's flesh, in several ways.
Did author Mima misspell "lizard"? And I seriously hope the heroine is not named Freezha because their child Freon is going to have a terrible time with the other kids in the school yard... wait. Oh dear, her name is really Freezha. Is her brother named Toasta? But on the bright side, at least she's not the one stuck with the name KarRa. Poor KarRa. I hear that she could never get away from the shadow of her more popular sister She-Ra.
"I am glad you spoke with your friend KarRa. You are more at ease since you left her. She is good for you."
"You're right. I hope it's mutual. I will miss her horribly, Vyur."
"I swear to you that she will stay in your life. She's an Owl now, and we have a freestanding invitation to their lair. Considering she saved your life, I have every intention of honoring your friendship. We will go after you have settled into Sandhome."
Okay, we have Lizzeed, so shouldn't that be "Owwuul" instead of "Owl"? Sandhome sounds uncomfortable. How about settling down in Brickhome instead?
Beast Within goes on and on with multiple partners, "matebond marks" (that gives me "acheheads"), and my favorite line in the entire story, "Believe it! Freezha loves Vyur! Say it! Say it!" This story is pure furry porn that you may want to read to get into the mood before attending the next FurryCon in your MyKo the Green Stegosaurus costume.
But seriously now. KarRa? Freezha? Lizzeed? Matebond? Sandhome? Is this some kind of joke?
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