Biting Nixie
by Mary Hughes, paranormal (2009)
Samhain Publishing, $5.50, ISBN 978-1-60504-358-6


Biting Nixie is a young adult story, right? Please tell me it is, because I can't imagine any supposed adult like Nixie Schmeling getting away with such observations in her first person point of view:

What a choice. Pay Chicago or pay Mr. Four-K-A-Day. I trust lawyers about as much as I do vice-principals. I like them even less. I wasn't sure we were picking the right option.

I grunted. "It's inevitable � unless we crank out enough mad skrilla so our shyster can fap on their shyster." Suitglish translation: Takeover is inevitable unless we raise enough money for our lawyer to screw their lawyer.

Suitguy blinked. "Fap?"

Of course he had to pick that word. He couldn't have known what it meant. But with his deep, sexy voice, he made it sound pornographic. Which, of course, it was.

Fap was a word used in manga and anime porn for the sound of sex. Think "Bam!" and "Zowie!" with naked pictures.

Before I could explain (if I even wanted to try), a bray like a cheap trumpet snapped both our heads around. "You there! One minute!"

Nixie, our heroine is this short lady who nonetheless would like to believe that her attitude makes up for her lack of height. When she finds herself along with her punk band roped in to participate a fundraising event, she is not too pleased, although the hot lawyer Julian Emerson may be a consolation. Julian has a secret: he's actually a bloodsucker. A real one - he's a vampire. As Nixie finds herself in a madcap adventure with Julian, can she handle a vampire in the mix?

This could be a fun story, but as I've mentioned, I find Ms Hughes' brand of humor a little too much like a young adult thing for me. I find it hard to view Nixie as an adult - she comes off more like a role-playing teenage girl who has spent too much time thinking about witty remarks to make on her favorite online anti-fandom hangouts. Nixie is just too much, too "on" for me to take her seriously. Oh well.

Rating: 52


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