I Take Thee
by Red Garnier, contemporary (2008)
Liquid Silver Books, $4.25, ISBN 978-1-59578-420-9


Soon after the honeymoon, newlyweds Marcus and Marly Forrester discover that they have an unusual problem: Marly wants sex, needs it, demands it, craves it, et cetera, and poor Marcus can't keep up. His wife's aggressive antics have left his entire body feeling worse for wear. According to the family doctor, Marly is experiencing some kind of heat typical among felines for the next five days or so. The lions, to be specific. This means that Marly needs it every fifteen minutes or so and she may even go about demanding it while forgoing sleep for days. Since a typical lioness will need four or five lions to satisfy her during her heat, the doctor suggests that perhaps Marcus will look into getting a few friendly fellows to help the wife out.

You know, I don't know whether to be happy or not that I don't have such a family doctor.

Marly's mother experimented with feline genes and dodgy breeding programs that may not withstand the scrutiny of an ethics council, so it is not too surprising that Marly ends up with her current condition. At any rate, Marly's libido is something not even the blue pill can withstand so poor Marcus realizes that he has to get someone in to help when he can't get it up anymore due to, you know, overwork. Therefore, when the wife asks for a bloke that resembles Gerard Butler to drop in, the hubby does his best to comply. Well, Gerard Butler is away on business, so a stand-in for the Terminator shows up instead. Jake is big, brawny, and definitely built for the demanding job at hand. Will he and Marcus be man enough for the job, or will they need to rope in a third guy? Stay tuned!

This isn't a ménage à trois romance as much as it is about Marcus and Marly roping in a third fellow in a time of need all the while deciding that they adore each other more than ever. Believe it or not, the whole premise is actually more entertaining than it is tawdry, mostly because Marcus has his moments. I love the part where he decides that all fans of the Rangers, no matter what they have done in the past, are his best friends. Poor Marly has no personality to show off here because she's too busy wanting it everywhere while Jake isn't really anything more than a penis coming to answer the Forresters' SOS.

The only downside to this story - and I know I will come off like a depraved pervert for saying this - is that the sex scenes aren't long or adventurous enough for a story of such an outrageous premise. Of course, since this is a naughty romp, that is a pretty significant downside where I am concerned. Maybe Jake should have stayed around longer, I think. At any rate, I Take Thee is an outrageous kind of naughty romp, although as much as I like this one, I wish the author has pushed the envelope appropriately farther in this one.

Oh, there are no male-male interactions here in case you are wondering. Then again, with poor Marly in such a condition, I don't think anyone has the time to attend to anyone but her.

Rating: 78


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