Blood Ties
by Cathryn Fox, futuristic (2008)
Samhain Publishing, $3.50, ISBN 1-60504-226-9


Blood Ties may be set in 3020 but it has plenty of mate-mate-mate stuff to reassure readers that they are in familiar territory. If you love the stories by Jacqueline Frank and Christine Feehan, I have this strong suspicion that you will have a good time with this one.

We have the Nallies, the half-vampires. They are not to be confused with the nellies, for obvious reasons. Our hero, Mikel Sare, knows and feels deep inside his soul that Dari Blake is his soul mate. After all, Dari is hot and her vagina is special, destined as it is to pop a magical brat or two. Therefore, while Dari remains somewhat unaware of Mikel's existence, he has been watching over her using some dream stuff woo-woo. Dari has also been kept deliberately ignorant of her true nature for her own good. The wee hapless lady is currently being pursued by all kinds of nasty vampires wanting to infiltrate the defenses of her magic vagina. No, Mikel isn't included among those nasty vampires because he's her soul mate. Anyway, so he's been keeping Dari deliberately ignorant for her own good. Nice. I am starting to understand why there are only two Nallies left in the world.

Since Mikel's "guardian" duties of Dari seem to comprise solely of having dream sex with her, I am not surprised when the bad guy detects Dari's presence early in the story. What happens next? What else? Our two must shag - and bring in some other randy people - to, er, raise the power or something. Ultimately, it's all about how Dari's magic vagina will bring hope to all after she has been boinked all over by randy men and women - which is okay being they are boinking her with Mikel's approval. Not that this makes him her pimp, mind you. He is her soul mate. Get that straight, people.

Do I need to explain how I really feel about this story? It has the most ridiculous clichés associated with the vampire brood mare genre put together in a way that is more laughable than anything else. I'm laughing, baby, and not in a good way.

Rating: 48


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