Send No Flowers
by Sandra Brown, contemporary (2000, 1984 reissue)
Bantam, $6.99, ISBN 0-553-57601-1


Gosh, Sandra Brown has been writing for a long, long time now, hasn't she? I must confess I'm not a faithful Brown fan - the only other Brown I've read are Texas! Lucky (fun despite oversexed hero and stereotypical heroine) and Texas! Sage (boring and stereotypically predictable). In Send No Flowers, the heroine is equally clueless and predictable. Looks like category romances haven't progressed much in terms of characterization for sixteen years now.

Alicia Russel, widow of two kids, is beautiful but has no life, no self-esteem, no boyfriend, no date, no social life, no originality... the usual. When her friend gets married, this woman realizes that it's time she too get some man to cling on to. See, she has always had a Man to rely on.

Eeurgh. If I have known, I wouldn't have picked up this book.

She decides to take her boys camping in a remote cabin in the woods. The cabin is also the destination of playboy and millionaire (of course) Pierce (ahem) Reynolds. He spies her sexy tush and deflowers her mouth one stormy night. He woos the kids, he beds their mother, and Alicia starts pining like a complete twit for commitment-phobic Pierce.

Can she pierce Pierce's armor? Why is Pierce so adamant not to commit (guess)? Why is there so much thrusting, pumping (!) tongue actions?

And if someone find a spine lying around, Alicia would be grateful if you'll return it to her.

Despite Alicia's Poor Me act, she's not that bad, she's just painfully boring and trite in her character. Pierce, however, is worse. He may be good with the kids and his amazingly phallic tongue, but when he is needed, he is never there. Alicia is definitely looking for the wrong Clingwrap in Pierce.

Hey, Alicia, ever considered playing Who Wants To Marry A Multi-Millionaire?

Rating: 36


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