Taken
by Anya Bast, futuristic (2009)
Samhain Publishing, $3.50, ISBN 978-1-60504-378-4


Our heroine, Anne Elizabeth Michaels, is doing her own thing one fine day when she finds herself being chased by a monster that looks suspiciously like the Frankenstein's monster. Fleeing in terror, she runs right into two guys who use their alien verbal equivalent to chloroform to put her to sleep. The two guys are cute, so we know at once that they are the good guys.

Caleb Varona and Van Childress are aliens called Harmons that hail from the planet Valencia. I'm sure their buddy Winkle Petula will show up one day in his own story. Because women are in such shortage in Valencia, men like Caleb and Van have to not just share their women but also travel abroad to have any kind of social life. When it comes to Anne, the monster is a Guardian, an enemy of Caleb and Van's people, and it is the Guardians that cause these people to have male offsprings all the time. Now that the Guardians have learned that Anne is destined to spread her legs and bear the alien babies of Caleb and Van, they have sent one Guardian, probably the one that has drawn the shortest straw, to ensure that the mating will never take place.

I'd think a better form of biological warfare would be some kind of virus that will kill the enemies instead of allowing them to have more male brats and then sending Guardians to chase after those brats who try to get laid with horny Earth women, but hey, logic, like our heroes, is going to outer space today.

And so the story goes, with our heroine being told not to worry about the "logistics" once she's agreed to be the brood mare of these aliens. Maybe that should be adapted as the motto for this story as well. Don't worry about "logistics", much less logic, people - just sit back and enjoy the skin show.

If you can't tell by now, I find this story a truly absurd one from start to finish. Seriously, if we need to find an excuse to have our heroine being shagged and bred by two virile Johnny Bravo dudes from outer space, isn't there a better one that this sorry excuse of a plot that I am presented with in Taken? I feel as if I am the one abducted by aliens here, and that is not a good feeling at all.

Rating: 48


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